Journal

Well, it's been a while again. I'm not much into this tellng about myself to the world, which then begs the question "Why are you doing it then?"  Hmmm...Have to think on that one, I guess for right now I'm just tired of being by myself and have nobody to talk to.

Soooo...here's what's been up with me. I'm riding the coumadin roller coaster...wheeeeeeeee  I was 2.2 on Sunday and decided to have some wine to bring my INR up yesterday, Monday, I was 2.4. So today my friend Rick asks if we can go for Chinese, he wanted to know if my INR would support the .5 drop I'd probably have. At first I said no and we headed to the mall and my Subway Turkey sandwich. But the further we drove the more I craved Chinese.  I mean who else makes chicken 50 different ways and  oh the crab rangoon.  So I caved and decided to go. I was cautious and only had one plate. Before we left I took 1 mg of warfarin just be safe. I didn't want to drop too low!!

So then we get back to work and I'm feeling the carbs pull me down so I vegged in my chair here for a while, feeling really drowsy and craving a nap. I decided to go for a walk to wake up and stretch my legs and I passed the room where all the goodies from a retirement reception this morning were stashed. I walked in just to puruse the offerings. Normally I never partake of anything but there was cake with strawberry filling and lots of lard icing on top.  So I was worrying about the extra 1 mg of warfarin I took at lunch and I thought maybe if I had a piece of cake with all that icing it would counter balance the warfarin, which I took to counter the Chinese food....~sigh  So I figure, either I'll be too low, or I'll be too high but hopefully I won't drop below 2 or go over 3. But al least I probably won't have a heart attack. I might have a brain bleed from banging my head against the wall for doing this today...but then  this too shall pass.

Speaking of heart attacks, one of my best friends who works with me had a mjor one last week. Her father died at age 59 the friday before and she had a heart attack last Tuesday. She's only 40 and has3 kids and a rotten husband.  Turns out she has a genetic where the arteries around her heart are small and they can spasm and become blocked easily. Her widow maker artery was 90% blocked and another was 50%. She's skinny as a rail, doesn't smoke or drink and exercises. She just has bad genes. I called her today to see how she was doing and she's developed and bad hematoma on her right groin at the access point. She said it hurts so bad she can barely get around and can't sleep. I told her to ask her cardiologist for some pain meds and she said he already offered them but she declined.  She went to see him yesterday on an emergency basis because of the hematoma and was told he was an hour and a half backed up and she'd be seeing a nurse practioner, but instead in walked the cardiologist. She said that's when she got worried because it must be serious and he said it was because it was surrounding her femoral artery and he wanted her to come back today.  I wanted to ask her why that was serious, but I figure it has something to do with the femoral artery which I know is a major artery in the leg. I just wonder if they're concerened of it bleeding out, or of the hematoma strangulating the artery.  Well Bosses came in and had some calls and now it't time to go home so til next time....

Been a while since I wrote.  I've been feeling down lately, not sure why. For the longest time I was feeling good and pretty much back to normal but then all of a sudden I just started feeling depressed again and really irritated at the slightest thing. I talked to my Psycho doc and decided to up my dose of Effexor to 112 every other day and take 75 on the days between, I've also started taking .25 mg of the klonopin daily.  It's so odd because I was finding it really hard to think. Like I was thinking through mud and any slight mental challenge just drained me.  I just don't know why I'm like this. I look at myself and know how lucky I am. I absolutely have nothing to be depressed about. I sometimes wonder if I'm losing my mind, like maybe I have a brain tumor or something.

Wendy and I took the 3 days off before the 4th holiday. Goodyear gave us the 3rd off as a local holiday. We'd booked a condo in Port Clinton Oh and I was kinda dreading going away. Then on the 1st we got news my stepmother passed away. She was 81 and had been in the nursing home. She'd been going down hill for the last several years, just kind of lost her will to live. It wasn't really a shock. She's where she wanted to be now.  Anyhow we thought we were going to have to postpone our trip, or cancel altogether but as it worked out we had the calling hours today and her funeral is tomorrow. 

Port Clinton and Put in Bay was an awesome time. We all had a really good time. I rode a waverunner and had the best time doing that with my son and going fishing with him. It tickled me to see his expression when we caught some sheephead.  i even found out that I can have a glass or two of wine and it won't affect my INR. I'm so glad I have my INR machine. It's so much peace of mind to be able to check whenever I want.

Calling hours today were long and tiring. Lots of people showed up and I think I shook over a thousand peoples hand.  Half of them I didn't even know.  My cousin and Aunt showed up and in talking with them I found out I'm totally German!!  LOL  All my life I was told I'm German, Irish, and Pennsylvannia Dutch, but my cousin traced the Conners back and found out there isn't an ounce of Irish in us!!  LOL  Conner is a German name.

Well that's all for now!!! 

Hi All!!   Well it's been a good week..hey I'm alive tonite to write about it so yeah it's been a good week. Had a few periods where I was kind of freaking but my friend Barb reminded me that for now "I'm cutting onions"..for those of you who don't  get that it means I'm living in the moment. If you'd like to understand more check out this link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbRM2RAjgh0  it's a good video of a young woman with incurable cancer, 

I was wondering this week as the mosiquitoes  came out, since I'm on warfarin and that's basically rat poison I wonder if mosigtoes die after sucking my blood...I hope so!!! 

I found a place in town that would do a coronary calcium score for me for $12o but after talking with my Dr I cancelled the appt. My PCP feels the technology is so new what would we do with the results once we got them, plus they might add to my anxiety over dying. I saw him today because I got bit by a spider on my side and the bite got infected and is getting bigger. It felt good to go to the Dr for something other than Clots and my INR. He prescribed amoxocillin and a antihistimine.

A friend of mine at work, her Dad had DVT's and PE's after having bypass heart surgery and last year and this week they were supposed to implant a defibrilator and a pacemaker but after evaluating him in the hospital they thought he'd developed new clots in his leg and are going to put stents in his leg to help improve his blood flow. They said he might lose his leg...Yikes!!! 

Bought 2 books in the last two weeks. Barack Obama's Audacity of Hope and a book called 23 minutes in Hell. Barack's book is pretty good actually and very eye opening on how Washington works..or should I say doesn't work. The world in which we live scares me, there is no real leadership for this country and it seems everyone is out for themselves.

Going to Port Clinton over the week of the 4th and looking forward to that. It'll be good to get away.