I have a history exam tomorrow and i am freaking out to the extreme. I am so very extremly nervous that i have feel my brain pounding against my skull. It's as if it is protesting against me studying any more. It doesn't help that i know that i have to do well in this class, and it also doesn't help that i've heard rumors that the prof for this class is such a hard marker. I try to remind my self that it is possible that the other students did not either study or were not caring about the course in general. But still, i don't think i have that much confidence in me to actually believe my own encouraging words. I think university has destoryed my self-esteem, because i know i wasn't like this in college. I think the added stress that my mum, a single parent, is the only one who is paying for my schooling and she's currently not working herself. I'm freaking about the fact that what if i get another horrifying mark and not only disappoint myself, but my mum as well. I know she always compares my actions to my older sisters, if i fail i know it will give my older sister something to glot. Yet I know, even unspoken, my mum will loose all the respect she has for me. I'm already her unfavorite daughter, compared to my other three sisters. But at least now i know that, she respects me because i want to show the world that my mum was responsible of putting me in school and educating me all by herself. I think that pride is the only reason why my mum is supporting me through school. And it's selfish of me to say this, because she has every single reason to be proud of herself and her dramatic accomplishemts.