Back in May found out I had pre-cancer …
Back in May found out I had pre-cancer cells of the cervix. Had a leep done and biopsy said it was borderline... In …
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ShazzerInc 
7:51pm
Well what can I say, except I'm not saying things are rosey in the garden but things are progressing. the great work with my counsellor, has paid off, I'm not fixed, I'm just getting off the ground to climbing the mountain. The biggest thing I'm working on is my confidence, like not just reading self helps books or doing other things like that. What I'm proud of myself is that I'm intercepting my thoughts, the insecure voices in my mind are not coming through to me aas clear as they used to, they have to fight through the positive mindset I'm trying to impose on myself. My self image is something that has pulled me down, kind of ruined my life and led me to live in my bedroom 24/7. So its about working hard, damn hard on everything I do, not look at something, judge how much effort I need to do for it and go for it.
Its ironic as I write this journal I'm listening to U2, stuck in a moment and you cant get out it, I don't feel like that now, my life is still the same but if someone waved a magic wand and said here you go, friends, going out, a girl friend and a social life, that wouldn't fix the issues i have, so I'm working on my issues, the confidence, why i keep losing friends, then even if my life doesn't change in content, I'm really beginning to believe in myself. I believe if I work hard, in uni, the gym, other things I'm thinking of doing like learning Spanish then good things will happen, so I have to break through the numb feelings, wanting to be in constant numbness, work bloody hard, then I will see the fruits of my labour. I have a hectic 6 weeks, so its time to dust myself off, do that cool thing when you brush your shoulders, head up, collars up, chest out and lets bloody do this.
Things are going well, I'm still pondering meds, have to get myself on top of things, so things are not too bad......Thanks for reading my ramble.....
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I'm so proud of your progress...slow & steady but you're making big strides at the same time...You are very aware of who you are, where you're going and what you have the ability to become so better keep at it! (((hugs)))
mb2711
Wow! Good Journal Shaz, damn good! I am so happy for you. I want it ALL for you. Your issues resolved and the magic wand! Go for it. You are on your way.
OJewel
see i knew it would happen for you soon,keep it up shaz,you are doing really well,and i am so proud of you,love and hugs,helen.
witchnell
I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO proud of you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are doing SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GREAT, so much progress you are making and on all levels of your life both 'inside' and 'outside'. I honestly couldn't be more prouder of you right now Shazzyhun- what a fantastic journal entry- standing up and intercepting those thoughts- it's GOLD GOLD GOLD BAAAAAAAAAAABBBBY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lotsa luv xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Rubyshooz
Shaz, I am proud to here all this and so happy for you. I absolutley love that you believe in yourself and I believe in you too as well as all these other people here singing your praises. And as far as medicine goes I see as 'why go at it alone' but do whatever you feel is best because you know best and are alrady making all the right decisions.
EscapeFromHear
I'm really proud of you Shaz! You are doing so well. Huge hugs x
stix24