shaz191185’s Profile

About Me

Hi I am shahzad. but people call me Shaz. I wonder where people get that from, imagine the time when people are called by one letter or even numbers. like if two people were called Cody, they will have to known as CO1 and CO2, imagine in a science class when people keep answering carbon dioxide to every answer. but lets hope it never comes to that. That was me going on a tangent. Wow are you ready? as the heading says I will tell you about me. Well first thing is that i was never bullied as a kid but people just basically treated like crap which led to me growing up with no self worth, no self esteem and basically no belief in myself. People used me and then spat me out, people laughed at me, still do this has led me to lock myself in my bedroom all day and night. I have no friends in the real world basically either I have pushed them away or they have gone away, have major problems with that. I have massive social anxiety, I have had to learn how to talk to people, still find it hard to. I would not harm a fly but being to withdrawn people can mistake that foe being rude. apologises first if I come across like that. Whats next, well I have never had conversation with my dad ever, no emotional relationship with him which hurts even more when he swears and shouts alot. People may see that I have alot of female friends and think "hey that guy is using this place as a dating site" well not really seen as this is a support site I cant really open up to guys, I have an odd relationship with my older brother where we talk alot but nothing emotional. So if people think that then apologise again. I want to help people, I find it hard to ask people to ask for help thats my life in a nutshell. My counsellor said I may have asperger's syndrome, I cant get it checked out because doctors are never helpful but I am working on it myself because it makes so much sense especially with the way I learn thing and the way my brain works and my personality. Basically life has led me to been really depressed at times, very lonely which shows that in real life I dont have any friends they have left or my insecurities have pushed them away, I feel apathetic. I also feel like I am a robot (that also can be part of the aspergers) because somehow I have cut off my emotions and its only when I watch a film (on my own dare I say) where wounds open. but then a few minutes later back to no emotion. I am here to help anyone who needs it. I have great friends on here who have mean the world to me.

Interests

Well I love comedy, all my life I have enjoyed it, I have 95% strike rate on getting a joke. I love sport, massive Manchester United fan. At this moment I have fallen in love with American Football cant explain (aren't you supposes to say that when you fall for a girl) New England Patriots are my team. I love reading, I will read anything, have a great imagination, I have so many ideas in my head think I have a book in me not literally well that would not be good would it? Massive film fan, love all kind of films (wow this is beginning to sound like a dating profile next I will be saying i like socialising) I really like socialising, even though I have found it hard with people I think people like me, why not eh. People interest me too, I'm not a weirdo, just like knowing about people. Im very approachable, so come dont be scared.