dianerpah's Journal

aww, you could never hurt me, Jan, you are always such a tower of strength to me.

i suppose i was talking more about my personal life. it happens with people you try to help, but it happens with those you see every day too. it applies to all of us who like to give & give, but then sometimes feel taken advantage of. as strong as any of us are, we still need to get some back! well, i do anyway! lol.

i've been offline for a while as i had a major manic episode. damn, but that one scared the life out of me! i must have been building up to it when i wrote my last entry! i'm fine again now tho & almost back on form! it does seem to have changed me a bit tho. i'm finding i'm not quite as easy-going as i was before it...ive learnt even more how to say "no" & mean it & how to really put myself first!

i find i'm so much happier because of that too. i'm not waiting on others to do nice things for me, then not getting hurt when they don't! course, i still love those i love & still want only to share my experiences etc, thereby helping those going thru similar things. but i seem to be one step removed, if anyone knows what i mean by that! it's not my whole world anymore & i'm not constantly thinking about others. i'm just hoping it's a healthier way to be!