dianerpah's Journal

flipping heck, Sassie baby, i can hardly type for laughing again. thanks, sweetheart & you too Jan & Lucy.

i've already written a message to Mary, telling her i've got a new mantra to chant every morning: "i will never, ever, blame myself for something i didn't do again"!! i won't either; we have enough to deal with in things we are at fault for, without taking on the mistakes of others.

it's been a strange few days, but the soul-searching is over again, for now! i know i'll never stop examining myself....my motives, feelings etc, that's part of who i am. i think it is me too & not necessarily the bipolar. i've always needed a reason for everything, always needed to know who i am. the learning isn't always easy, but i get there in the end!

i seem to forget i'm a strong, independant woman sometimes. seem to forget i'm living this life for me now & not for others. not selfishly, of course, but how could i help someone else if i can't help myself first. if i'm not strong, i can't be strong for someone else. but it is why i write about my difficulties as well though. i hope & pray that by watching me flounder, others can see that it's not all plain sailing.

life is a challenge for all of us & it's my prayer that if others read about a latest blip, then see me come through it, we can all see that problems are only here to test us & then make us stronger. i'm very open & what you see is definitely what you get! so i much prefer to open up about all of my challenges, as well as the good things. 

i'm a very lucky girl too! i've made some wonderful friends here & i just hope & pray that you all feel as supported by me as i do you. i bless the day i found DS...you are all the best thing that ever happened to me (well, apart from my wonderful family, of course!). God bless you all for being the best friends a girl ever had!