djbds1's Journal

OK...so I have decided that putting any hope in my pain going away for a weekend is gone...

I went camping this past weekend...it started out horribly as (no sooner than we arrived at the site) I was volunteered to ride with my girlfriend's good friend (Nicole) to the scene of an accident...one in which Nicole's boyfriend (Jimmy) was seriously hurt.

Like an idiot, Jimmy decided to drive to the campsite on a motorbike...one which he had just bought the day before!!! He was driving up this incredibly steep and dangerous switchback that accesses the area in which we were camping...he decided to give the bike a lil' challenge by passing this car on a TURN over a DOUBLE YELLOW line going 50 MPH!! When a car came towards him around the upcoming BLIND corner, Jimmy lost control of the bike and flew into the ditch on the side of the road. Fortunately for him...he crashed into the mountain side of the road rather than the outside of the road...NO guard rails...with about a 400 ft drop into a tretcherous mountainside!! The bike appeared to be OK, however, Jimmy was NOT.

Later, once we arrived at the nearby hospital (thank god there was actually a hospital about 20 miles away!!)...we found out that he had suffered a spiral fracture of both the tibia and fibula bones in his right leg. The fractures started at the base of each bone near the ankle and spread on a diagonal slope about 4-5 inches UP towards the knee...almost making a clean break all the way through. Initially, the paramedics thought it was a compound fracture of the ankle due to the minor bone protrusion...no skin puncture though.

Long story short...I spent about 9 hours in the ER waiting room...Nicole basically forgot that I was even out there. The rest of the weekend just got worse...at least, for me.

Late on Saturday night, my right outer groin/front and side of right hip began to swell and get red/hot. I immediately remembered when I had that same type of swelling over my IPG (battery) implant that turned out to be a very serious Staff infection.

The swelling just kept getting worse over the next few hours. I knew that all the lifting and moving of camping gear probably caused some pain, however, I had no idea why the swelling was occuring. Then I remembered....

I went down to the water to go swimming (since I have not been swimming in over 2 YEARS!!) and get on the large raft my girlfriend had. As soon as I got onto the raft, my girlfriend's friend (maybe "acquaintance" is a better choice ;) had me moving the makeshift anchor they had to keep the raft from moving ashore. The anchor was just a large rock with rope around it. Her and the husband pulled it up onto the raft and she literally rolled it over the side (very quick) right onto my lap...slamming onto my right groin and hip...I tried to brace the hit with my leg, however, I just ended up bruising my inner left knee!! This damn girl had me moving the "anchor" all over the place while her husband just layed out on the raft catching some sun...

While I was getting my groin slammed with a 60 pound rock over and over, her husband (who is MUCH larger and stronger than me) was getting a tan...something sound a bit messed up? I got so fed up that I decided to just let the anchor loose and the raft rapidly drifted onto the shore...I was done.

My girlfriend was very upset at this point...first, she loses me for the entire first day...and not by choice. Next, she has her so-called friend bossing me around and pushing large rocks onto my groin...which she knows is a damaged area of my body!! After that, everything just got worse. The campsite was slammed with a deluge of thunderstorms/rain...and I was doing my best to get everything under cover and get some tarps up to give everybody good cover...especially considering the fact that we had almost 15 people camping there. Of course, while I was running around trying to protect the campsite, protect our belongings (oh...and also protect everyone else's belongings), and get a large tarp set up overhead...everyone else was just sitting down under the small tarp we had to cover all the food and cooktops. They were all sitting down huddled tightly together...all laughing, all drinking...and I couldnt even get through their chairs to the stove where I was cooking corn (for the ENTIRE CAMP!!).

So, only ONE person tried to help me put the large tarp up...it was the husband of the raft-problem-causing-rock-throwing friend of my girl. We had one tree support tied up to a corner of the tarp when his wife began to hassle me once again...she had a problem with the location of our tarp set-up. She wanted to put it pretty much right overhead of the damn FIRE!!...so we could all sit around the fire while being protected from the rain as she thought that we would get too cold without the fire. The low temp for the night was 60!!...hardly cold enough to cause complaint. Also...when it rains...the temp is warm....no need for a fire. So, after some bickering back and forth about where the tarp should be set up and why...I gave in. I let her and a bunch of the others (mostly the girls...no offense to GIRLS, OK?) to put up the tarp.

I remember them all saying how my tarp location would not work. I had my tarp under lots of tree cover and in the midst of many trees (so I could easily tie the tarp corners and sides to create a good slope for the rain to slide off). They wanted to put the 20ft tarp up in between trees that were about 40ft apart...with only 3 trees to tie off to....hmm...4 tarp corners and 3 trees? I also remember how they told me that it was going to take forever to put my tarp location up and running. In no less than 3 minutes, I had already secured ONE corner...

It took them more than 40 minutes to put the tarp up...it was flimsily secured and about 6 ft away from the fire...definetely not a safe set-up.

Anyway...I was pretty-much fed up at this point.

It was about 1 hour later when the swelling and pain flare started. I iced myself down (LOTS of ice), elevated my groin while laying down inside the tent...kept hydrated and tried to do some pain-alliviating Yoga. I was very close to drving myself to the ER, however, the pain was striking me so severely that I would have convulsions (not uncommon for me to have...I actually have them everynight) and I believed that a 30 mile trip to the ER through some seriously dangerous roads would not be smart. Unfortunately, I was stuck there to ride the pain out...because nobody else could drive. Actually, I did not ask anyone to because I knew that they were ALL drinking...making the driving situation a lot more difficult.

Yesterday morning, I awoke with pain strikes in my groin that were easily a 15 on the 1-10 scale...they kept hitting for about 2 hours. Now, these pain strikes only last a split second, however, they leave a very painful soreness afterwards for 10-15 minutes.

So, here I am...did not go to my first two classes today. I have Yoga at noon, however, I am not up for it today. Yoga can be VERY painful if my body is sore in any way...or if I am experiencing a pain flare of ANY type. Yoga is NOT damaging to my body, it does not exascerbate my pain....it alleviates the pain...it does a great job, although; I need to be careful with regards to when I choose to do Yoga...it is NOT smart for me to do 7 days/week.

Alright...I have not put anything into this journal in a very long time...I hope that gave you all a bit to chew on!!

I love you guys....thanks for the support.

In case you are all thinking about this...I can satisfy your curiosity...

No, my girlfriend is NOT a bad person, no...she does not ignore my pain treatment needs...

This is the thing....Ami has a REAL bad back. She had an L4-L5 disc replacement almost 2 years ago from a bad DDD situation. She experiences severe migraines, has real bad carpal tunnel arthritis, and she gets horrible heartburn. It seemed like she was worse off this past weekend than I was!! I could not see her doing anything strenous, even though she was pushing herself too much....all I wanted was for her to sit and relax all weekend long!!

Ami was actually real upset about how everyone had treated me. As soon as everyone left yesterday, Ami broke down crying. She was so pissed off that we were both mistreated, she was upset that nobody else was willing enough to go help Nicole (on Friday)...for her injured boyfriend, she was mad at her so-called friend for bossing us around like she owned the place...and last, but certainly not least;

Ami was beyond upset at the fact that once again (this happened last year camping as well)...we were the last two people to leave the campsite. The site was a mess...garbage everywhere, HUGE half-burnt logs sitting in the firepit and protruding out 2-3ft, broken and melted glass all over the fire pit (inside and out), cigarette buts EVERYWHERE, and generally...the place was a damn disaster.

Because we actually care about keeping our planet clean to the extent in which we are capable, Ami and myself cleaned that site for the next half-hour....what could have been taken care of in less than 5 minutes if EVERYONE had put their effort into cleaning after themselves.

So...AMI is a great person. I did not expect ANYTHING out of her this weekend exept to relax. What I actually got; she worked her ass off to make the experience positive...and she got no respect for any of it.

One last thought...if you went camping with 15 of your friends (who all know that you are BOTH disabled and should not be doing constant strenuous physical activity)...would you expect them to help you move your belongings around and maybe help pack your car...would you expect them to help you clean the campsite...would you expect them to stick around at the campsite until it is satisfactoriy cleaned and organized before you all leave....

OR...

Would you expect them to all leave as quickly as possible leaving behind an awful mess...having you both clean the site from head to toe...and finally; having you pack your vehicle...lifting several very heavy items...after they knew that you had both suffered pain flares over the past two days...?

What would you expect? I can tell you this...a true friend does NOT expect anything from you because they KNOW you will acknowledge any needs you may have and do the best to help out.

Well...I do not know if these people are really that great of friends. The are more Ami's friends than mine...she grew up with them and I only know them through her. Ami is pissed off now that she sees these so-called friends doing the same thing two years in a row...this year being a lot worse than last.

I just wish that I could put a smile on her face...she needs someone who will treat her like a real friend and not just a person who they can always LEAN on for anything. Ami is so incredibly giving, however, she NEVER sees anything come back...but here is the KEY; she never EXPECTS anything in return.

It is just nice to have reciprocation to your unconditional giving and kindness...it would be nice to have that once in a while, you know?