Journal

It's done!  Finally, finally after all this time.  Ater her backing out over and over and over again.  Making excuses, threatening me with a lawyer, and me refusing to back down she has finally signed the papers.  Do you have any clue what I'm talking about??

I have been fighting for official custody of my daughter/niece  for a very long time.  She has lived with me now for over a year, and throughout that year has told me the most god aweful stories of how her mother abused both her and her younger brother.  I knew in the past she was being abused, and I put a stop to it.  At least I thought I idid.  When I found out it started again, I took her out of that situation as soon as I could and called child protective services about her brother, twice.  They dismissed both cases.  He still lives with his mother.

 I took her mother to court to get official custody of her, so that I could protect her.  As time went on she fought me tooth and nail, as I knew she would.  We went to a mediator, wrote up papers.  Had them ready to sign, and then she backed out six times. All of a sudden last week she told me under no uncertain terms would she give up ANY custody to me, because she knows she would be loosing control over her child.  Then out of the blue she signed the papers.  OMG.  They are signed.  By everyone.  She is finally safe!!  Now I just have to keep her that way!

On Thursday Morning there was a terrible fire at my sisters home.  All humans did survive, but sadly they (we) lost several members of our animal family.. Jasper an eight month old german shapard puppy, Samson a year old mini poodle, Saint Abraham an 8 year old Golden lab.. and then 4 guinea pigs.  There was also the devastating loss of almost all their personal belongings.  The fire was devasting.

I try to think that at least no human died THIS time.  I mean when I was a teenager my friend died in a fire.  I watched as they tried to get him out.  I remember the smell of the smoke, the sound of breaking glass, the feel of the heat.  Everything.  It was aweful. 

I wish I was a stronger person so I could help them through this more effectively, but I keep having flashbacks to back when my friend died. I feel selfish and stupid.  They need me, and I am breaking down.  I just don't understand any of this.  Why we build up homes, why we love our pets, our friends, our families, to have everything taken away in a flash.  It isn't worth it.  Is it??