vertabeary's Journal

Subject: Admitted we were powerless over food. That our lives had become unmanageable.

I had a real problem with that because I did not want to admit that I had no power. I had always learned that you have power over anything in your life. This line threw me for a loop. The more I read about food addition, the more I realized that food is my alcohol and as an alcoholic, I do not have control over my addiction to food. I did sneak out late a night to by sweets at Mc Donald’s and Taco Bell. I send everyone to bed so I can eat in peace. I eat late in the evening around 10 pm when the house is quiet. I am a junkie and I am on the verge of admitting it. I read that food to an addict causes a physiological change in the body chemistry and carbohydrates creates the secretion of serotonin which combats stress and gives you a feeling of peace. This peace is temporary however . I also read that Carbohydrates cause craving for more carbohydrates and it is a vicious cycle. It is not my fault BUT, I can make a choice to control it just like a junkie can make a choice, just like an alcoholic can make a choice. The choice comes with first accepting that I am powerless over food, that my life has become unmanageable.