Today is one of those days I want …
Today is one of those days I want to crawl in bed, lock the door, and tell everyone to leave me alone. Adam's …
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JOANNE1971 
2:41pm, October 18, 2009
Someone on the bipolar baord brought up this question. I'm not really sure what answer she was looking for and by the time I ended by response to her I realized I was pretty offended by the question. She was gathering info to share with executives in hope of ending the stigma against bipolar. There is no way someone who doesn't deal with bipolar can possible comprehend the daily struggles we share but this was my response ...
Some of us have lost marriages and custody of our children due to BP.
Some of us are in jail and can't respond to this post (or receive the love and support one needs while suffering from mental illness.)because we did something illegal due to BP.
Some of us are homeless due to BP.
Many of us have lost our homes, our cars, our belongings due to BP.
Some of, a lot of us, lost jobs that brought us not only a means to support ourselves, but provided us with a purpose, self-worth, digity.
Can you put a price on those things? HELL NO.
If you want to break down my actual numbers I look really good on paper. One med cost $4.00. The other I receive free from the company that makes it (Lamictal - think it costs about $400 otherwise.) I pay $2.00 a visit to see a pyschiatrist at the County Mental Health. Costs me $6.00 a month for my medication.
But the real price I pay??? Let me give you an example. Last night I couldn't sleep. Have no f'ing idea why, doesn't matter. I finally fell asleep at 5:30 which means I couldn't (physically incapable of) getting up at 6:30 to bring my son's cupcakes into school for his birthday party. The one he has been looking forward to for 3 weeks! I feel like the worse mother of a 5 year old on this planet. I let my kid down! I lost a memory I was entitled to, seeing my kid happily bring in cupcakes to his class. His father stepped in and took my place but that doesn't make it okay. BP robbed me once again of something I can't get back.
Another perfect example:I was in an automobile accident that I have no doubt was caused by BP. Similar to this morning, I had been unable to sleep the night before but needed to be somewhere so I drove, fell asleep while driving and nearly killed myself and my son. I lost my license to drive over that incident. Now I drive illegally and when I get pulled over I get thrown in jail (and fined.) and my kids have to watch mommy get handcuffed and carted off to jail.
Why can't I get my license back? Because of BP!! I need to be arrested in the state that the accident was in (Maryland. I live in SC) and be put in jail. It will cost $6,000 to bail me out. I will then be given a court day 30 days later to return to be seen by the judge. I blame BP because I don't work (I don't have $6,000!) and the fear of being arrested and thrown in jail is more than I can bear. Getting arrested and having no choice but to go to jail is a whole different story then getting into your car and driving 12 hours north to turn yourself into be be arrested!
The price I pay by being bipolar? You tell me!!
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Good for you for answering her question. I didn't see it, but even if I did I wouldn't answer it.
purple4
at least someone had the guts to give her an answer...I had no clue as to what all I have lost because of this freakin' illness...i was recently diagnosed and am starting to put the pieces together...and determine what is caused by BP and what was caused by the abuse.
As for your son, he didnt miss out because you have a wonderful supportive husband that understands and is able to help out. Remember that
angeleyes92
I wish I could have gotten in that conversation. You did well.
malice1
Good job giving her a piece of your mind. I wish I could have gotten in on that one.
Belinda1977
Good job of telling it like it is, I'm loseing my marrage,wife can't deal with it any more, so there goes 21yrs, a home i built for us, a family, my life.pretty high price for something I have no control of...
willyman
Wow, you've come up with some good answers. Well done. I'd be curious what the person's questions were to you. Because of BP, I once was locked up in solitary, in the Hospital. Scared me to death, as I had been tortured that way as a child. Once, I went to the police to report a date rape. While taking a smoke break outside (& locked out), I had a horrible flashback & freaked out. It took them 10 minutes to let me in, & then, when I went to the washroom, & was having trouble going, the cop knocked on the door & told me if I didn't hurry up, he was going to come in & take all my clothes off. Those are my 2 most horrific memories, due to bp. Mostly now, tho, I just end up spending too much money. I'm thankful I've been stable for awhile. Hope you are doing well, too. Thanks for sharing.
Love,
Debi
2alone
tell it like it is, and these are the "good" days too, this is an example of how it is on a good day the bad days would take an entire lifetime to express 1 minute
CrowFeather
Bipolar is very definitely costly; so is depression.
c140cfi
Powerfull!
ParagonOpus1