JOANNE1971's Journal - DailyStrength

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Very powerful entry.

I know more than one sexual offender. I should say convicted. All 3 are on the megan's list. All 3 were neighbors of myself or a friend at some point. One was convicted for his relationship with a 17 year old girl(whom he swore he thought was 20)...but I don't buy that you don't do 5 years in prison for that. He was in his 40s at the time old enough to know better than to even sleep with a 20 year old. The 2nd also had a penchant for teenaged girls. The third was a boy himself, 16, when he was convicted of raping a 7 year old. He didn't go to jail as he himself is mentally retarded...mental age around 10-12...but still is aware of right and wrong. He is still institutionalized but will be out soon. He is the son of former neighbors that I have maintained friendship with. They are churchgoing and honest people. Sexual offenders often learn their behavior. That particular offender was molested by his mothers former brother in law...who is now also on megans law as an offender.

The problem with sexual offenders is that there just isn't enough help for them...because they don't catch it early enough. Many people, particularly boys, who are molested by predators grow up to be predators themselves. Because of the taboo, or the offenders threats, or the boys fears often the abuse doesn't come out until they are offenders themselves and often by then getting psychological help doesn't always help them. Often doesn't. Many offenders reoffend(hence the megan list)and many never even seek help because they don't really think they are doing anything wrong.

There are statistics that 1 of 3 women and 1 of 6 men will at sometime in their lives, either as children or adults, fall victim to a sexual predator. 8 out of 10 times the predator is someone that they know. And the scariest(to me)statistic of all of these is that, for women, 4 out of 10 times that sexual abuser will be her own spouse. More women are raped by their spouse or significant other than any other type of rape. And why do I mention this? Because to often boys are not taught to respect women, but rather that women are a sort of property for them to use as they grow older. And to a slightly lesser extent this also extends to children. I know of a man(never met him)that went to prison for raping his wife and daughters multiple times. When asked what made him think he could do that he said "They're my property I can do whatever I want with them."...and until that attitude becomes less of the norm we will continue to see abuse....and what of women that abuse? One of that mans daughters was also convicted of sexual abuse a few years back for seducing a teenaged nephew...he idea was about the same...he was younger than her and so should do as he is told.

Women as property. Children should be seen and not heard. And as long as those 2 thoughts prevail in this world, there will be victims.

Speaking up on this subject takes alot of courage btw. Bravo.

Circles7

Can't disagree with any of that, Sarah. Thanks for commenting.

JOANNE1971

Don't forget about some of the young girls that are 16 and dress and look like they are 21. I once had an attonrney tell me that the courts took a poll and that 90% questioned said if a person was on trial for a sex offence they would already have had the opionion that they were guilty simply because they were accused and not even hearing the other side of the story. I'm sorry but I do not agree with all of this. All of these men(women) are not monsters. I get a little offensive when I here SO being called that. Sometimes good people make bad choices when they are not in there right mind. It makes me sick when I here of ones who drink and drive and take a life are considered better than a guy who is taken in by a girl thats 16 or 17 and says she is 18 and then her parents get pissed off and put the guy away for 6 years and they person who takes a life gets off with less time and don't get called a monster. Sorry. this is a very sensitive subject for me.

Waitingforhim

I believe if SO's must register when they are released from custody, all criminals must be registered as to their offense. Maybe that would flood the system and change things................

flmombs

Ditto to flmombs. Didn't even think of it that way but it makes a lot of sense!

dncn4lyfe77

what about the person who gets railroaded and gets sent to jail for molesting someone, just because the kid in question thought getting him out of the way would allow Mommy to go back to Daddy, believe me it happens. Not all stories of molesting are true. Sadly most are, but no all. Lives are ruined, families torn apart for no good reason, the only ones who profit are the lawyers!

blissful54

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