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jmsadie 
I feel really bad this weekend. My soon to be X is really giving me a hard time about this Holiday thing. He wants what he wants and I want what I want! I feel like he should be the one to miss time with our child because this was his deal not mine. But then who I am hurting, him or my child. She loves her Dad more than anything. She loves being with him just as much as me. She gets so excited to see him. It is really sweet! I cant stand him right now, I cant stand him for making me miss time with my child, I cant stand him for him thinking it all should just be fair and equal, when he was the one who choose to do this to our family. Then I think well what if he did not have an affair, and we were just two people who couldnt make it, would I feel the same? I dont think I would, I think I would be more understanding and notwant to kill him everytime he talks to me. He is mad at me right now becuase I told him I was going to take him to court for this whole holiday probelms we are having. I am hurting so bad inside, i wish next year was here, i wish the Holidays were over. I wish we could be togther like I planned, that is what I wish!
