jmsadie's Journal

If I could change all of this ,would I? Good question isnt it. I have been thinking of all of this mess, and how my life would be different if everthing was the way it used to be. I cant really seem to grab what is good or bad about that. I really did love my husband, I really love being a family. But what about now. What would I be doing if him and I were still together? I am not sure. What if I never found out? what if he just kept on going and never said anything at all. Would we be happy? Would we really make it work? I look at him know and think to myself, what did you see in him. I am not talking about loks, but him. His true self, what did I love. I think I may of talked my self into that situation and had no clue I was doing so. Looking back he and I were best friends, no one could top ho we were with each other. I had my issues he had his, but for the most part we got along. I really feel bad for not trying to change things about myself that I knew drove him crazy. But on the other hand he did not try to change the things about him that drove me crazy. I look back on al of the things I did wrong in our marriage and I feel bad for them. I mean lets be honest, we both did things wrong. I am really trying to change those things about myself. I am working on the new Me! New and improved. Sometimes it works and others it does not. Well here is to the times it does!!!!!!