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freedomplease 
3:44pm, March 9, 2009
All I did all day was do homework, go to the gym to run 4 miles and bike a few miles, and walk a few miles.... and eat. And eat. And eat. Seriously. But the thing is I still ate 1,100 cals today. I eat soooo much and sooooo often I feel like it's all I do. Today I basically ate every 2 hours. It's a weird feeling. Always eating, never really getting hungry because of all the volume, fiber and protien I consume, but never really satisfied either.
Anyways I have always felt that I can stop this nonsense when ever I want to. But today I had this paniced feeling, like I couldn't stop, like I'm in too deep now. I'm really scared. I may have pretty much conquered this binge eating craziness (I haven't truely binged since summer-ish? even then it was never very often) but now I'm more obsessive than ever. For the first time this morning I felt like it was out of control, rather than me being IN control.
I need to make some serious changes. My health is fine and dandy, but the amount of time I am wasting with this is rediculous. I'm making a commitment to you guys that I will not waste anymore time watching thinspo videos on you tube, or taking peeks at pro ana sites (they are disturbing terrible and pro-death.. and I'm embarrassed to admit it...)
Goodness gracious, pray for me guys!
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Comments
I hope you can increase your calories also. :)
sophie09
Trust me I know exactly how it is. You do need to up the cals though. I drive myself crazy all the time and sometimes I do feel in control but then when I don't it's like I go crazy. I want you to get more help then your getting.
audgrl724
boy I know what it's like to obsess. I suggest you get in touch with what your body is really craving... if you don't really feel satisfied, maybe you need more food? it's ok to eat more, your body can handle it - in fact it will probably thank you for it. I know its easy to say and hard to do, but start with small steps.
take care xoxo
naomi683
omg i hear ya on the ALWAYS feeling like ur eating!! esp when u eat high volumes of low cal foods.......i feel ur pain! and so does my stomach!
missyS
I'm praying for ya girl... but like you've told me so many times, for the amount of exercise you gotta eat more--otherwise a binge WILL happen, you're starving! eating all the time isn't a bad thing either, it keeps your metabolism raving, so don't even sweat it!
livetolove03