macatac's Journal

I'm a cleaning freak, book reading freak, and a coffee and sweet hound now.

The cleaning and reading keep me occupied. As the old saying goes "Idle hands are the Devil's playground". I believe it to be true. That's how I got caught up with drugs in high school- I was bored. As the years went on, I got caught up with drinking because I was still bored. Now I need to busy myself with other things. I feel better when they are productive things. I can't bring myself to do something that wastes time. I have a hard time playing our video game systems because when I shut it off, I don't have something completed. I don't see a cleaner house, or a finished book, or nothing has been learned, etc. Therefore, if I equate drinking to the same level of uselessness, perhaps I'll be less inclined to even want to drink.

Besides drinking is such an inconvenience for me. Trying to plan out when I can safely breastfeed again, making sure I have milk saved up and stored to feed my son, how to get from party A to party B if my husband and I have been drinking (not like that's ever much of a concern when I'm drinking..."Let's just drive over! Take the backroads!" ), making sure I'm not hungover for a family event the next day, etc.

Coffee is awesome for jacking me up. Sweets just naturally go with coffee and I can't seem to get enough of them. So I spend most of my time buzzing around the house on caffeine and sugar. But that's okay. It's better than drinking.