I guess to start anew again, I really do not want to dwell of the past, just keep going and make new memories....have plenty of bad ones so these past five years of my sobriety have been getting back in to society. So work, school, a man who has been in my life almost a year now and my kids i go see when I can. Life is fast and it moves quickly, I did not know how much I really missed of it, but as battered women who drank and used in the past......well, you get the idea.
I guess to start anew again, I really do not want to dwell of the past, just keep going and make new memories....have plenty of bad ones so these past five years of my sobriety have been getting back in to society. So work, school, a man who has been in my life almost a year now and my kids i go see when I can. Life is fast and it moves quickly, I did not know how much I really missed of it, but as battered women who drank and used in the past......well, you get the idea.
I have many interest, when I am not at work I am on the computer usually with school work and research papers galore. I do love it though. I watch movies when I can with the one i love and I go see my kids 3 to 4 times month. They have their own lives, so I only invade now and then to keep in touch. I do struggle though still with the anxiety of real life and things that are hard to do on a sober basis.... the insanity was easier than the insanity of doing things on the right. I have the bad dreams now and then, I still reflect now and then, but my thing is to move on and live life as it is now. But anyways, books, writing, poetry, the beach, sex, and to just be me is my basic interests.
I have many interest, when I am not at work I am on the computer usually with school work and research
June 6, 2009 1:01am
It has been such a long time, had a birthdy in May, got into school and now going for my BA degree in Organizational Management degree. Homework has …
Here's a big hug for you sweety.
A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath.
"Mom" , he asked , "Are these my brains?"
"Not yet , " she replied.
Right back at ya.
Sunshine on my shoulder makes me happy.
I am just your average woman trying to live on lifes terms with out screwing up anymore. I am an alcoholic who just recieved a four year chip. ANd take it day by day. I work alot of hours so I try to balance this because I substitute other things for my fix. So am into progress and no more perfection. I have three wonderful children who do not reside by me because of my disease of alcoholism and addictions from my past, I just do the best I can now
Started drugs after alcohol.Meth was the drug that was my all-- I work a program after my bottom, I hit hard -92 pounds hard and fought all the way and still clean today
I was diagnosed with PTSD back in 2001 after I was picked for a domestic violent shelter and beat up with two black eyes and a bruised body with all the other things that I went through in my life,as the psych expressed to me with the pills I didnt want and all the other stuff. I am pretty stubborn woman and like many have been through the ringer too. I do love life though, I think of suicide sometimes but dont react anymore, Ive learned on that. I did not know there was a support group forthis.
I have been married twice, both abusive. My first marraige was the involvement of drugs-- second alcohol and drugs again. I allowed alot of stuff and let my low self esteem eat me up and spit me out. I raged on men for a little while. I had two chldren with first-one with 2nd. I refuse to marry again. One took every cent I had the other tried, I learned from the first -- I do nt hate them, I just dont know......I loved the first til hate came didnt even like the 2nd much. 2drunk 2care.obligated
Stress gives me anxiety so bad, I work from 6 am to around 5-7pm evening. I sponsor women-go to meetings,have commitments-kids on weekend-workshops-books-then their is the norm of cleaning,laundry,do this and that, mainly work-work-work-work-program-work-kids-work-work-downtime?? only this time--here time
I am 36 now and have been sexually abused by three different ppl im my life. It is not easy to look back, I just got myself to start talking about it three years ago and not comfortable at all. My first encounter was age 16. I then married a man who at end of marraige really tore me up because I was not allowed to be looked at and did some horrible things when i mentioned divorce. Memories on that one really hurt alot.
Like most of my life, I screwed up two marraiges that were not based on the qualities as it should of been. Love and trust were demolished- first marraige.. 2nd marraige was obligation through pregnancy and we were drinkers. Both marraiges were with poor life styles that i am trying to pick my peices- though it has been four years since i have been married, there is alot of pain imbetween the 18 years of them.
I have tried to commit suicide all through out my pass, now i dont hurt myself but I think alot sometimes about it and i know it is selfish thing to do, so i was told, life is soo much better, but i drive down a hill and i want to drive off the cliff, why, i dont know. why not?? and the fear of when i tried before i feel like i cant but want to.
I work about 11 hours a day, I am just enrolled in online school, I am in new relationship and keep in tune with my kids on weekends
