Journal

i decided that i wouldn't be using this as much anymore. i found it was doing more harm than good. as sick as it may sound, it made me look for things to be upset about.  i'll be around though, and i just wanted to thank everyone for their kind words and support. 

things continue to move forward.  zach is an incredible person.  his ability to bend and make light of bad situations is so inspiring.  THREE years later, he's finally starting to rub off on me.  he's been through a lot this year, as have i, but we continue to be supportive of each other, especially lately. i think we have someone pulling for us (ahemTJ.. haha. we miss you a lot, kid).  we're just in a really good place right now.  its amazing how much he's changed and learned.  i love him so much and i feel really lucky to have him in my life.

speaking of having people in my life, josh is back.  not in this area or anything, but we talk on a weekly basis.  its his birthday tomorrow, so happy birthday to him.  he's totally on his way to regaining his old title- BGF (best guy friend) haha. oh you!

the three people i want in my life more than anything are steph, cynthia and kyle.  kyle is out there doing his thing. i don't exactly agree with his "thing" though so i guess that eplains his absence.  its just weird to go from hanging out with someone every day to hardly at all.  i hope he finds his way again.  steph is doing her thing too. i'm not quite sure what her thing is but you know..she's doing it. haha. this letting go bit is a piece of shit. i miss her.  i miss having someone (a girl someone) to talk to.  and cynthia. oh boy do i miss her. she's doing TWO summer sessions at northeastern. aye, my partner in crime. this summer is painful without you.  i love you guys.

i'm trying to be positive but i'm really angry.

throwing in the towel.

"‘I want what you have. Can you give it to me, or show me how to get it?’ And I would say: ‘You have it already. You just can’t feel it because your mind is making too much noise.’ "

that's all i needed to know. keri's one act saved me. evolve.

i went to bed last night feeling horribly. i expected to wake up with a heavy load  on my chest but i didn't. i'm really glad.

i just miss you.