Journal Entry for January 8, 2009
this is totally wrong...
I shouldnt be so out of control right now.
But I am.
I want to jump in my NO HEAT CAR and drive until …
I hate BP. I like boy things. I love my guitar. I'm ubber 3li73.
I hate BP. I like boy things. I love my guitar. I'm ubber 3li73.
not doing dishes. Fishing. Hunting.... Baby making w/o the baby... not cleaning, not cryin, not yelling.... Computers. Not programming! Not being a huge nerd if possible. However I do run a 4 computer home network all of which were built by me from scraps and shit in NICE cases! LOL. I love computers.
not doing dishes. Fishing. Hunting.... Baby making w/o the baby... not cleaning, not cryin, not yelling....
this is totally wrong...
I shouldnt be so out of control right now.
But I am.
I want to jump in my NO HEAT CAR and drive until …
Well everyone... back and thinking I needed a friend... when I already hadso many!
Who waits in the sidelines until I am better? Steffy, David, …
Help me please... stop this madness.
I've spiraled so fast.............................,
I've stayed away because everyone thinks I'm …
I am going to get up and be free today.
Right now... I'm going to dance.
You all mean alot to me. You know who you are.
Everyday you msg me and hug me and let me know your there. I couldnt ever ask for anything …
well.... that's just the thing, isn't it? see, the water just got turned off at out place - no kidding! something wrong with the pipes, so the landlord conveniantly chose the hottest fucking day of the year to turn off the water!
picking up my son from daycamp - somehow survivng the heat (its 95F out today - we have no AC at home) - i just spoke w/my GF, said i've got to crash when i get home - my head hurts too much - that's about it - try to stay away from the alcohol (been having a running battle with my drinking this year - had been doing well, but a week & a half a go just fell right off).
working right now, but i will have to leave for the doctor's soon. seriously, i'm concerned - i have never had my lungs this bad before - i seriously cannot draw a breath. & yeah, its making me annoyed with the pettiness of the board - i dunno - i'm just really getting out of sorts today - ugh!
hey - thanks - i'm feeling very rotten today. physically for the most part - can't seem to breath & its giving me headaches - but now its getting to me emotionally - feeling crippled somehow & pathetic. i hate the board today, for some reason. i should just get off...