Journal

Not to be overly dramatic, I know there are a lot of people worse off than me.  People with real problems like not having a home or resources to survive.  but my crisis exists in my head, which almost makes it seem more terrifying.  If it is in my head, then why can't I just change my mind and create a better situation for myself?  Instead, I obsess.  about my flaws, my inadequacies, my imperfect body/mind/spirit, my lack of discipline, anything.  makes it hard to study for school.  I feel totally alone, with all my crazy obsessive thoughts.  not a fun place to be,

so I made it.  Ten whole days now.  i don't really feel much better, because I am still binging.  and without the purging I am gaining weight and had to buy new clother.  so while i have achieved the not purging goal, i don't feel any better about myself... Oh well.  Two steps forward, one step back.  Or ten forward nine back? in any case, progress does not seem to be linear.