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rose77 
11:44pm, October 2, 2009
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I know he is in another state and not in the one he told me he was in, he is with another women he met on line. I have known since last week and have gone from indifferent to, so be it, to I hope she gets to see the real him. And in between the anger that he is a real bastard. I am now just left with the anger. I don't know if it bothers me that he is with another women once again, or if it bothers be of the way he just doesn't care who it effects. that he just is so indifferent to what he has left behind. I am so angry at him, and I shouldn't be I should be at the point in my life that I shouldn't care. I don't want him back I am grateful that he is no longer in my life controlling me and making me feel as if I am crazy so why do I care what he does why?
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Rose, it's only but natural to be upset and be affected by this man...still. Afetrall, you have loved this man once deeply...you have shared and built a life together. I wish our emotions would just follow what our head tells it to feel but that is not the case. And denying what you truly feel may be keeping you from moving on and being stuck. I still catch myself denying what I truly feel instead of letting the emotions come, process it, let it pass through me then let that emotion go over and over the same steps again until the intensity wanes. My therapist is helping me not run away and hide from my emotions. It is not easy but I believe it is one of the key factors to really get past your past. I know it is not fair, it is not right to be devalued and discarded. I am sorry you are going through this. Hang in there.
ginebra
You have to let the emotions come--you will go back and forth for a while because you loved this man and had many dreams and plans with this man.
I was married to a verbal/emotional abuser as well; I know how difficult it is to move past the caring and love. For the first few months of my separation, I still loved him and gave him things and did things for him. When he started showing his cold, cruel side that helped me let go.
It will happen for you. Continue to fill your life with positive things.
Hugs!!!
hurtinandhealin2560
You are just taking a few steps back in your healing. It's hard when you've been in a long term marriage. those three steps forward and two back can be hard to deal with. IT will get better.
trisha9054
Thanks its hard sometimes to get past the feelings I need to, but I am determine to move forward. My goal is to get to the point where his moods and life will not effect me. to get to the point where his mood don't control mine. thanks again for the support
rose77