Ozarksgirl's Journal

So you would think growing up with a mother and grandfather with arthritis I would be the first to admit that I had all the signs and symptoms... right?  Well I guess i've been in denile because a part of me always thought "it can't happen to me."  I just started a second job and I have been averaging 75 hours a week.  This must have thrown me into a horrible flare.  It started with one hand, then two, then the back and feet.  The day I finally woke up and realized it was when I could barely make it up the stairs to my apartment.  So I finally went to the doctor this week when the pain was just unbearable.  I only told the doctor I was having some swelling and joint pain... she immediately asked who in my family had arthritis.  I guess the horrible swelling and the hands that are frozen in the claw position may have been a slight indicator that arthritis may be the problem.  So... I got all the tests done.  Even though all my tests came back relatively normal... they were all high normal and had a trend that pointed directly at Rheumatoid Arthritis.  It amazes me how this disease is so unpredicatable, uncurable, and basically undetectable.  My mother didn't have high tests results until 10 years into her diagnosis.  The doctors gave me some steroid shots that have eased the flare quite a bit.  I'm still a little slow and slightly sore... but i'm able to function.  I know i'll be ok i'm just really frustrated.  I'm 23... just seems so young.  I know that arthritis can affect any age... but no one else seems to know that.  I have refused to tell anyone cause I know i'll get that look... the look of "why are you complaining just go take advil... your too young to have arthritis."  I have always been an advocate of the arthritis foundation and helped them raise money.  It was so hard asking for donations because people are so ignorant.  No one sees this disease as more than a few aches and pains that will go away as quickly as it came.  I have to control myself to just shake these people and tell them about my mother being bed ridden for years or the fact that arthritis caused my grandfather's heart to stop taking his life in an instant.  Everything is just so new... hasn't really sunk in yet.  I know that i'm capable of living with this.  If it had to be between my sister and I (considering the whole hereditary thing)... I know I would volunteer to take this in a heart beat.  Life will go on... but its going to be sooooo different.  I just have to figure out how to adapt and change to accomodate the RA.