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TunaMan 
6:40pm, May 1, 2009
Please read Job 3:1-13 as a backdrop to this journal entry.
Like Job, in the early part of the Book of Job, I wonder when will I see happiness again? The following is the reason why I feel this way:
I just found out that my wife Teresa has willingly abandonded and rejected the Catholic Faith to become Messianic , which bothers me to the point where I feel so abandoned and rejected, that I just want to dig a hole, crawl into it and die or better yet, live in a cave on a deserted island to lament my miserable life. 
I am very much disturbed and stressed at the moment and wish God would call me home. my life has gone from miserable to feeling isolated and alone, even in my own house. 
This isjust one more cross that I must carry. This is the most difficult cross yet, cutting deep into the heart, which I may never recover from. It seems like life just isn't worth living anymore. I wish I didn't make it through the accident and that God would have called me home that day now more than ever. 
But, as I see it, God must still have a mission for me to accomplish, whatever that might be (haven't figured that out yet), and decided that I need to continue suffering, because that's what I see the rest of my life being from yesterday forward until He calls me home. Aren't I lucky? lol. Sorry for all the negativity, but that's how I feel at the moment and most likely will for the rest of my life, which I hope is a short one.
Hope everyone else is having a much better weekend that I am had and that you will all have a super upcoming week. I will keep all of you in my prayers. Please pray for me, I need all the prayers I can get to stay sane.
Terry
Comments
Awwwww Terry :( I hope and pray you live a long life, and not a life of suffering, i hope things will get better for you soon and you enjoy life again. Im sorry about what is going on between you and Teresa. I wish there was a way for me to help. xxx
Aimeebaby
Terry, she is still a Christian, and even though she's not espousing Catholicism, that doesn't make her a bad person. I know many people who are Catholic at our church (a Calvary Chapel) and it is a Bible based church and our friends have said that yes it is a different viewpoint, but that they have a much closer relationship with Jesus now. Just keep praying for God's will. He made us his people, people with free will. He wants us to choose to love him. If it's as a Catholic or not, loving Him is the important part. I will keep you both in my prayers. Try to smile, and remember, Jesus is the reason for the season.
Hugs, Karen
kmhll447
Karen, with the new beliefs (messianic) she is leaning toward, they view Christmas as a pagan holiday and should be avoided and not celebrated, which really upsets me. Messianic beliefs are similar to Jewish beliefs and yet different. Messianics believe in only 4 of the traditional 7 major Jewish feasts. They also interepret the TORAH differently than the Orthodox Jews.
I gree that Jesus's coming as man at Christmas whould be the whole focus of Christmas and the reason why we Christians believe what we do. thank you for your prayers and hope this season brings you happiness, joy and peace. Terry
TunaMan