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EvansMom 
Yesterday, I was determined to finish a task in complete defiance of my ADD tendencies to wander from room to room accomplishing nothing. As I stood quietly folding laundry, I felt the slight pressure on my shoulder that I have learned is Evan. I started jabbering away, like he was right in front of me (only with his mouth taped shut so he couldn't interrupt every two seconds). After a while I said, "I sure wish you could do something to let me know I'm not just standing here talking to the ceiling fan but you appear to be useless with party tricks - no flickering lights or curtains blowing in a non-existent breeze. Slacker..." And, of course, I told him I loved him and missed him and heard the reply in my head like always.
Oddly enough, I dreamt about him last night. The dream was pretty vivid but not quite what we consider a visit. There are only pieces of it left in my conscious mind but the feeling of having spent time with him has remained - a sense of peace and gentleness and being loved. I remember being near him with him, smelling his skin. The odd thing is that the entire dream was stressful, chaotic, nightmarish at times and, yet, my brief moments with him were peace, pure peace.
All in all, I wonder as I always do if this is just my imagination. For today, though, I'm okay with letting it be whatever it was. I am calm and okay with just those brief glimpses - after all, they are all I will get until I am with him again.
I love you, my sweet Baboo. Always and forever.
Comments
I'll never understand the whys and hows of it all, but I do know they ARE with us and try to communicate. I'm glad you recognize Evans touch. And whether he does any "party tricks" or not, he loves you and is proud of you.
RememberKala
Barbara,
Bottom line is that you had an experience that left you with a smile on your face. Even if it was your imagination I feel it was triggered by Evan. I love the part where you said you could smell him that is always soooo real for me. Hugs, Inga
ihart
The unconscious mind holds infinite wisdom and information. Imagination is thought reality, and since all reality is borne of thought, then all experience of the mind is real. Not so sure that makes sense to anyone but me.
I think so many walk through life sound asleep, or unaware of their true nature which is spirit, that we lose our communion with the subtle energies.
Dreams are so chaotic, but any sense of our precious angels is a gift. My dreams about Chris to date have been about my sadness. My tears have formed raging rivers that flooded the land. I am hoping for better dreams soon. Love and light, Rebecca
rcoco
I talk to my A.J. often. I'm sure he doesn't listen, why would he, he didn't while he was here (lol). However, it is my way of telling him that I still love him and he is missed. I need to do it vocally for some reason. Even amongst the stress and chaos of your dream, you felt peace. I think we live in a world filled with stress and chaos and once we leave, it will only be peace. Maybe you were feeling what Evan is feeling where he is now. It's awesome you are so in tune with his presence. Much love. Robin
Robin4
I am happy you were able to see Evan in last night. I also had a dream of Justin Thursday night of this week. Actually, my surviving son Brandon and I both had a dream about Justin that same night this week. Brandon and Paige dream about Justin lots more than I do.
In my dream, Justin and Brandon were like 5 and 6. He was even mischievous at that early age! I miss that boy so much (and his mischievous ways). Yeah, I woke up with a peaceful smile on my face .... missing him, but peaceful.
Glad Evan visited you, too!
misshim
My heart skips a beat whenever I see my son, Evan's, name in the journal entries of other moms. I feel that I spend much of my waking moments begging Evan to "talk" to me, tap me on the shoulder, or communicate with me in myriad ways. Sometimes I can close my eyes and "see" Evan smiling at me from across a room, with a twinkle in his big blue eyes. I live for moments like that. Thanks for your entry. It has eased my pain today. luv, jan
evansmamamia
I love you my friend and from one ADD woman to another I am proud of you.. but did you finish your task.. lol... I did not finish a thing yesterday...
munrogirl
What stands out is though brief, it brought you pure peace, a so deserved gift from your precious son....Only once do I remember a dream of Tommy.
He like Evan was a chatter box. Tommy had a habbit of laying on the living room floor with his arms folded, his head turned as he talked. In my dream he was lying on the same carpet. He looked at me and said" Hey Sweetsie, I love U". I said please wait don't go, and he was gone. What so ironic is the word Sweetsie was shared between my husband and I. The story behind is to long to explain. but I was shocked. I woke my husband and said aked when did you tell Tommy of our word, he said he never told anyone. It had been six years and I gave up on looking for a sign...The next morning as we were having coffee i told my husband you had to have told someone. He replied I know beyond a shadow of a doubt I never told anyone. Unfortunately I now take a med. and have no memory of my dreams. But I am forever grateful for that nite.......Thanks for sharing, you made my heart smile. Love U always, Pat
tomtom
Whether is was your imagination or it was a visit, as long as it brought you some comfort and peace...that is all that matters. But I do believe that they look after us and do try to communicate in some ways. Glad you had this experience that made you feel his love. Hugs, Kim
KimRW
Seems we both have some of the same things going on regarding grief. I too question myself some days on whether it's my imagination or are things really being done - that Shaun is reaching out in ways we can't understand. I've had the nightmares & I sympathize - I have them quite often - so sleep is weird - but I do sleep. We have so many things to accomplish during the day, with homekeeping, cooking, cleaning - laundry no wonder we get that lost feeling going through rooms, happens to me too.....lol. Love you honey, thanks for sharing this.
Denimari
You know...if seemed clear to me that you Evan was there...you felt his presence...so it was real...let it be real and enjoy that moment. The dream thing...who knows...my therapist always says that is your unconscious mind trying to communicate with your conscious mind...so enjoy that peace that you felt with Evan. Love you friend....Karen
biowoman
You have such a way with words, Barbara. I talk to Michael every day and whether he hears me or not, I have no idea. But surely the love transcends any barriers. This I believe. Love to you Belinda
BinkyH
We do love our glimpses! Love & hugs
ColleenF
I have no doubt our angels communicate with us. One month after Max died, a neighbor I'd only met once knocked on our door. I was in no mood to see anyone but she had seen me inside the house, so I had to go to the door. But I was determined not to let her inside as I couldn't stand having a visitor. She was telling me how sorry she was for my loss and I was numb. I do remember thinking to myself "I just wish she'd go away." The other thought I had to myself was "I wish she'd give me her necklace!" I feel somewhat ashamed of repeating these thoughts to you all now - but in honesty, this is what I was thinking as this aquaintance stood in my doorway. A minute or two into our conversation, the neighbor said - "Wait, I'm getting a communication." I thought her cell phone was ringing. With that she said "Max wants me to give you my necklace!!!" I was struck dumb! She reached up took her necklace off and despite my protestations put the necklace around my neck and said she had to go.
What's amazing is that I am a jewelry lover - and this was the perfect way for Max to message me that he was still in my heart. To this day, I can only hope that Max did not communicate the fact I wished the neighbor would just leave!
Gari
If it gave you peace it's as it should be. Love and hugs Cathy
RockstarsMom