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dallasheather 
1:13am, April 16, 2009
I need some advice, some pointers, some suggestions... anything to help me get thru to my son. (I posted this in two of my groups too, so forgive me if you've read this already, but I need all the help/suggestions I can get.)
He has always tended to be a bit of a grazer... eating little bits of his food as he gets hungry. But as he's gotten older I have made a much bigger effort to get him to eat his meals at the table when everyone else is eating (especially important for going out to restaurants).
Things have just gotten completely out of control these past few weeks. (Little background explanation needed here: we moved 5hrs away and are currently staying at my cousin's house. He and his wife have a humongous house and EIGHT kids ranging from 12yrs-1yr old.) He has picked up the habit of eating any time he wants to whenever he finds some food, and holding out snacks or treats or other munchies and completely refusing to eat at mealtimes (specifically lunch and dinner). I am working out of the house for my cousin as an admin assistant for his three small businesses, so my son is watched most of the day by his family, and while they mean well, they dont keep him out of the food. With 12 people in the house, there is almost always someone in the kitchen every few minutes... and he has taken to eating off of the floor, going in to the pantry and eating whatever he can reach, pushing chairs up to the countertops to reach for food there.
Up til now he has been a very well-behaved kid. But its literally like a kid in a candy store: he cant control his impulses ~ he sees food or sees someone eating something and he wants it too. And being only two and a half, I cant get him to understand that its not okay.
I've tried being calm and rational and explaining to him that unless he eats what he is served for lunch/dinner, there wont be any snacks or anything else during the day ~ but that just goes in one ear and out the other. I've tried putting him in time out and then making him come back to the table to eat his meal ~ but that just goes round and round and mostly just stresses ME out. I've tried forcing him to eat: telling him to open his mouth and then feeding him one bite at a time ~ but that doesnt stop the bad behavior, usually results in screaming fits. I've even tried swatting his bottom for being blatantly disobedient ~ but that just makes him cry for a few seconds then we're right back where we started.
To make matters worse, he's completely charming! He'll smile and bat those long eyelashes and hug me and say "I'm sorry Mama". (My cousin's wife always has to fight laughing at that point because its so cheesy.)
I dont know how to get through to him. He hears me, and acknowledges what I'm saying, but doesnt change his behavior one little bit! I dont want to be one of those moms with the uncontrollable children, but seems to be the direction I'm headed at the moment.
Any help???
He has always tended to be a bit of a grazer... eating little bits of his food as he gets hungry. But as he's gotten older I have made a much bigger effort to get him to eat his meals at the table when everyone else is eating (especially important for going out to restaurants).
Things have just gotten completely out of control these past few weeks. (Little background explanation needed here: we moved 5hrs away and are currently staying at my cousin's house. He and his wife have a humongous house and EIGHT kids ranging from 12yrs-1yr old.) He has picked up the habit of eating any time he wants to whenever he finds some food, and holding out snacks or treats or other munchies and completely refusing to eat at mealtimes (specifically lunch and dinner). I am working out of the house for my cousin as an admin assistant for his three small businesses, so my son is watched most of the day by his family, and while they mean well, they dont keep him out of the food. With 12 people in the house, there is almost always someone in the kitchen every few minutes... and he has taken to eating off of the floor, going in to the pantry and eating whatever he can reach, pushing chairs up to the countertops to reach for food there.
Up til now he has been a very well-behaved kid. But its literally like a kid in a candy store: he cant control his impulses ~ he sees food or sees someone eating something and he wants it too. And being only two and a half, I cant get him to understand that its not okay.
I've tried being calm and rational and explaining to him that unless he eats what he is served for lunch/dinner, there wont be any snacks or anything else during the day ~ but that just goes in one ear and out the other. I've tried putting him in time out and then making him come back to the table to eat his meal ~ but that just goes round and round and mostly just stresses ME out. I've tried forcing him to eat: telling him to open his mouth and then feeding him one bite at a time ~ but that doesnt stop the bad behavior, usually results in screaming fits. I've even tried swatting his bottom for being blatantly disobedient ~ but that just makes him cry for a few seconds then we're right back where we started.
To make matters worse, he's completely charming! He'll smile and bat those long eyelashes and hug me and say "I'm sorry Mama". (My cousin's wife always has to fight laughing at that point because its so cheesy.)
I dont know how to get through to him. He hears me, and acknowledges what I'm saying, but doesnt change his behavior one little bit! I dont want to be one of those moms with the uncontrollable children, but seems to be the direction I'm headed at the moment.
Any help???
Comments
I have always found the most important thing when disciplining your child is consistency.Don't give him an "if...then..." that you know you cannot carry through. For example, don't tell him that if he doesn't eat his meals, there will be no snacks, when you know others in the house will give him whatever he wants. Call a family meeting and tell them all that while you are thrilled to be living there, for the health and well being of your son, he can have snacks only when you say he can. Put a chart on the fridge, get some stickers that interest him, and when he eats even part of a meal, one sticker, that he can put on the chart. A whole meal eaten gets 2 stickers and a snack. I had a defiant lil boy of my own who is now 16.I know just how trying those times can be, multiplied by a move, new living arrangements, etc. You hang in there. You are a good mom, and as they say, this too shall pass!!!!! I am always here if you need me! xxxSheri
sadsheri
I learn with my Sons and Daghter Not to let them have a snack till bed time if only the eat when they are told to I have a 4 year old who thinks he dose it have to eat unless its Junk food cause of grandma so now he is not allowed to go to grandmas house intill he eats in the Daytime he is only allow to see grandma if he eats now cause if I don;t he won;t eat when its time to eat and if he don't eat he don't see grandma that day so he eats also I belevie in disciplining a child but the only when nothing else is working and living with other fammly is really Hard to to keep a child on a chore list is what I call it one cause even when you are sicking to your roots everyone else is not I know how it is I use to I finf it so much easyer to live by your self
AudYou5