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NotcrazyJoJo 
I just don't understand where I went wrong. I have loved her from day one. I waited around while she decided if she was ready to give me her heart. I have dealt with the ex's coming around making trouble all the time. I have put up with her love for the tv. Yes she has dealt with my bipolar and all that goes with it. I love her for that. But now I find myself wondering what was I thinking. I ask myself daily why I love her so much, I still can't seem to find the answer. In the beginning all was good, I think because it was new and my kids did not live with us. Now it's so much different we hardly talk except about her work and then it's just her complaining about how stupid people are or what idoit's she works with. Or to fight over my kids, which has been happening more and more. The phsyical part of our relationship is all but gone. I miss the days when we cuddled all the time, when we actually kissed and not just a peck on the lips. Or make love more than once a month if I am lucky. I don't understand how someone can go from being a sexual person to getting with me and all of sudden not be a sexual person. She new when we got together that I am a touchy feely highly sexual person. I just feel like I don't satisfy her anymore or maybe I have gained so much weight from being down with a broke leg and the meds I am on, maybe she does not find me atractive anymore. I know that sex is not the most important thing in a relationship. It is not even so much about the sex than the pyshical contact. I need that I need to be touched and held. Just all these things together make me wonder do I stay and not be happy or do I go and hurt her??? I usually don't write this personal of things but I just need to get this all out.
Comments
I am glad you shard this. Have you talked to her about how you are feeling?
cheldear
Hon you need to really talk to her about your feeling and find out how she is feeling to. Good luck and I wish you all the best.
NANCY ANNE
NANCPATT
Okay, I say one of probably two things is happening: 1. You are depressed, she is tense, and you guys are experiencing a lag that is common to couples who are overstressed. If so, this probably does need to be talked out; is she opposed to couples' counseling? Remember that there are plenty of haters and enemies out there, try not to be each others' enemies. With PTSD, I sometimes have trouble being as physically affectionate as I feel because I get tense, and my fight or flight response is in overdrive. 2.I have had the experience of being with someone who just truly wasn't as into me as she was into what money I could bring in, and other kinds of support. It doesn't sound like such is the case here, but you know better than me. I'm also glad that you can be this personal about things that many of us experience and feel alone in.
jaybear
Also, we in this family have had plenty of serious arguments about child rearing, and I totally didn't see that coming, ya know? But, 2 years later, I say it is quite possible to work out. I personally had to get over the idea that it was going to be perfect.
jaybear
As long as no one has to be the "right" one and you are able to share this with her, I think you two can go through this phase together.
Iroam
i understand where your comming from
squirely1
It' time to talk, talk and talk. It's the only way to find out what is going on in her head and heart. as well as sharing yours more fully with her. Good luck!
Iroam