Need Help
January 2, 2009 10:10pm
If anyone out there cares at all, I am in need of someone to help me, I don't know what you can do, but I am as low right now as I can go, …
Progress
95 %
ToniCB 
4:30am, May 1, 2009
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About Me
ToniCB
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About Me
I am 59 years old. I was married for 38 years, and woke up one morning and realized my children were grown and settled and it was now time for me! So, I filed for divorce and want to start a whole new life. My husband was very controling and to some extent is still trying to control all the decisions I have been making. We have parted as friends. I am pretty worried I may be to old to finally live my life the way I want to, so wich me luck, for all I know I just made the biggest mistake of my life. I have two wonderful daughters and three beautiful grandchildren. My youngest daughter is mentally impaired and has lives in a AFC Home, which was one of the hardest things I have ever done. She seems to be doing well there and comes home every other week-end. I was a workaholio and everything had to be done and on time and correct, so it was nothing for me to bring my work home with me or go in at 4:00 or 5:00 in the morning to get a head start. I did this for 15 years. Needless to say I burned out and had a break down. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I also have rheumatoid arthritis since I was in my 20's along with Ulcerative Colities. I am now trying to find out who I am, and it is a very hard and lonely journey.
I am 59 years old. I was married for 38 years, and woke up one morning and realized my children were grown and settled and it was now time for me! So, I filed for divorce and want to start a whole new life. My husband was very controling and to some extent is still trying to control all the decisions I have been making. We have parted as friends. I am pretty worried I may be to old to finally live my life the way I want to, so wich me luck, for all I know I just made the biggest mistake of my life.
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Interests
Since my body has pretty much given out on me, my favorite thing to do is read and play with my puppy. She is my new baby. She is a Yorkshire and Dashound mix and very spoiled. I love to listen and offer advise whenever asked. I love to help people, but I am also very shy and try not to push myself on anyone. I don't make friends easy.
Since my body has pretty much given out on me, my favorite thing to do is read and play with my puppy.
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Recent Activity
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Journal
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Meet the new and improved Toni
December 19, 2008 10:53pm
Hello everyone. I would like you all to meet me again. I have been gone quite awhile, some of you missed me and some of you never …
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Me
November 3, 2008 5:17pm
I am writing this for anyone and everyone to read, only I don't have to worry about it because only about 5 of my closest friends care enough to …
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Lesson learned
October 14, 2008 7:22pm
Hello my journal. I am never to old to learn something new. About two moinths ago I broke my left foot just by seating on it, and it feel …
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Another busy day
September 30, 2008 6:39pm
It's not that I don't want to write in my journal, it is that I don't remember to write in my journal. I had the same problem when …
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Hugbook
Chocolate
Just checking in! Have you seen these new hugs???? How've you been!?
Hug
Hope you are well.
Hug
Welcome back. So happy to hear that you have found a wonderful friend and have become the loving person that you are. Congrads. I appologize, but have been missing too, not because I wanted to but, life and pain got in the way again. So I too am working on being more reliable. Take care sweetie. Hugs to you.
Hug
Yikes, you broke two bones. I hope you are not in too much pain. Wishing you a speedy recovery.
Hug
Sorry we disconnected......we can try again.
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Photos
ToniCB hasn’t uploaded any photos yet
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Anxiety
I can be a very jealous prson, but I try to hide it, even though it may be hurting so much insidd, I find it just turns the other person away from you.
Treatments
- Lexapro Somewhat Helpful
- Positive Thinking Too Soon to Tell
- It is hard to think positive thoughts when you are feeling abandoned ad alone.
Close Crohn's Disease & Ulcerative Colitis
I see quite a few people suffer from Chron's, but not as many from Ulcerative Colitiies, which is what I have had since I was 22 years oldand I am now 58. I have learned a lot of things since I first came down with this and had to have surgery and how to live with it. If I can offer any advise ir just want to talk about this terrible disease, I would be more than hapy to help you.
Treatments
- Azulfidine Working / Worked
- Lomotil Working / Worked
- Prednisone Somewhat Helpful
- the prednisone made me bloat up and the Dr. called it a moon face. I was on it to long and therefore I started having arthrities in my joints. As soon as I was taken of it, the Colities would becoe active again.
- Surgery Working / Worked
- Had complete large intestine and partial small intestine removed.
Open Arthritis
Hi, my name is Toni. I have had RA for about 30 years now. I have had some joint replacements done recently because I could no longer move, my joints were so deformed. I have good days and bad days, but I am always tired and never have any engery. I had to go on disbility three years ago from a job I loved because I could no longer do it, I think that added to the depression I also suffer from. Most people get tired of hearing about how you really feel.
Treatments
- Ibuprofen Not Working
- Naproxen Not Working
- did not touch me
- Surgery, Knee Replacement Working / Worked
- so far have had good results. No side effects.
- Tylenol Not Working
- did not work at all
Open Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) DepressionI think I was depressed as a child but did not know what it was then, I just know I was never really happy. As I got older thing started making more sense to me and I am now working hard and have been to come out of it. I was so close, I was actually feeling real joy, I don't what to lose that now.
Treatments
- Cymbalta Working / Worked
- Seems to help alot
- Lexapro Working / Worked
- works very well with my down feelings
- Positive Thinking Not Working
- Can't seem to find to much positive things in my life.
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- Someone to talk to and help me with my low self-esteem
- Support from Friends & Family Somewhat Helpful
- They really don't understand
Open Healthy Relationships
just waiting for my divorce to become final and had my first official date.
Treatments
Open Senior Dating & Sexuality
I am fairly new at this, been divorces about three months now, but feel readyfor a new and exciting relationshi. I miss a campanion. The divorce was my idea, he just stopped wanting to do anything but sleep anjd watch TV, I still have some life in me and I want to enjoymy last good years. He did not seem to iupset when I left, so I think he was unhappy as I was.
Open The Financial Crisis
Well it is Jan l, 2009 and I am starting out this New Year with $.029 cents to my name. My lot rent will now be three months behind, my electric is ready to be shut off, as well as my phone, so good-bye internet and freinds, but I am trying to take it one day at a time. Can't seem to find anyplace that will give me any help financially, so I can only do so much. I am on disabilit like so many others and my check for the Janurary was spent before I even got it. Isn't life grand!
Open Loneliness
i have beci=omed divorced after 38 years if marrage,
