My wife and I have been married …
My wife and I have been married for 4 years and through invetro, we have new born twins at home. I need someone to …
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amiilee 
2:15pm, November 1, 2009
we decided i wouldn't go to therapy every week for awhile to save some money. i have nowhere else to go without just complaining... so here i am back on ds. unfortunately or fortunately it has nothing to do with my fertility issues!
for the second time this week i feel like i've been punched right in the gut.
i look forward to weekend because i get to spend them all with my husband. give or take a few saturday dance practices here and there or a dance competition i think my husband i have slept apart 4 times in total. i do not find this out of the norm.... apparently some people do.
we woke up this morning and i thought we'd have a nice day together... figured he'd go fishing for awhile... we'd come back watch some tv, take a ride or a million other little things i now feel are too "boring". he gets a phone call at 8:30 this morning from a friend who lives 2 hours away to see if he wants to go fishing out on his boat today... at 11am... until god knows when... with another 2 hours drive home... sleep for the night to follow...
so there goes my day... oh, and my nighttime too.
i think it's rude and inconsiderate to just up and leave with an hours notice... if this guy had called yesterday things may be different. so i explained to my husband that i really didn't think he should go because i thought we would spend the day... yes and the weekend give or take a few hours together. this led to the following tirade of mean and hurtful things... which he doesn't think are either:
"i don't get to do anything"
"whens the last time i asked to do anything"
"i don't know anyone else who spends this much time together"
"you always have to have something planned"
"it's unhealthy for people to spend 48 hours together"
"it's not good for our marriage"
"all my friends get to do stuff and i don't"
"you should live in disney world so you'd think everything was perfect"
"are you jealous of me??"
"you have to go out with your own friends"
"everyone needs their space"
and more...
i have never been a person with many friends and AM OKAY with that!
i never needed a "girls night out" or "space". and i don't feel like i HAVE to go out with my own friends. never was a NEED for me to have a group of girlfriends. SORRY.
i am beyond hurt and confused and embarrased and angry.
never expected this from the man i married.
for the second time this week i feel like i've been punched right in the gut.
i look forward to weekend because i get to spend them all with my husband. give or take a few saturday dance practices here and there or a dance competition i think my husband i have slept apart 4 times in total. i do not find this out of the norm.... apparently some people do.
we woke up this morning and i thought we'd have a nice day together... figured he'd go fishing for awhile... we'd come back watch some tv, take a ride or a million other little things i now feel are too "boring". he gets a phone call at 8:30 this morning from a friend who lives 2 hours away to see if he wants to go fishing out on his boat today... at 11am... until god knows when... with another 2 hours drive home... sleep for the night to follow...
so there goes my day... oh, and my nighttime too.
i think it's rude and inconsiderate to just up and leave with an hours notice... if this guy had called yesterday things may be different. so i explained to my husband that i really didn't think he should go because i thought we would spend the day... yes and the weekend give or take a few hours together. this led to the following tirade of mean and hurtful things... which he doesn't think are either:
"i don't get to do anything"
"whens the last time i asked to do anything"
"i don't know anyone else who spends this much time together"
"you always have to have something planned"
"it's unhealthy for people to spend 48 hours together"
"it's not good for our marriage"
"all my friends get to do stuff and i don't"
"you should live in disney world so you'd think everything was perfect"
"are you jealous of me??"
"you have to go out with your own friends"
"everyone needs their space"
and more...
i have never been a person with many friends and AM OKAY with that!
i never needed a "girls night out" or "space". and i don't feel like i HAVE to go out with my own friends. never was a NEED for me to have a group of girlfriends. SORRY.
i am beyond hurt and confused and embarrased and angry.
never expected this from the man i married.
Comments
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oh amy i am so sorry... i cannot imagine the hurt you must feel. i know we sometimes say things when we're angry, but my goodness, he really let loose! :( hang in there hun
strength4today
I have similar feelings to you in that I have never been a "big girlfriend group" kind of person. I'm completely content in spending all my free time with my husband and I do consider him my best friend. I agree that he needs his space sometimes and I try to accomodate that. but he knows me enough to PLAN it ahead of time. Example - Friday nights are his night to hang out and play Halo with his friends. I try to respect that time, not complain, and plan other things for myself. But he also knows I EXPECT to have some dedicated time with him and that I jealously protect our Saturday's. It's taken some time and respect on both parts but he gets the space he needs and I get my needs met. And after all, I'm alone all day while he is at work so he knows I need his time and attention in the evenings a little. I'm sorry your hubby was so harsh. It sounds like he's ust feeling the pressure of life and kind of exploded on you. Certainly undeserved! I hope you two can work out a compromise to avoid those landmines in the future.
hnelson