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amiilee 
2:15pm, November 1, 2009
we decided i wouldn't go to therapy every week for awhile to save some money. i have nowhere else to go without just complaining... so here i am back on ds. unfortunately or fortunately it has nothing to do with my fertility issues!
for the second time this week i feel like i've been punched right in the gut.
i look forward to weekend because i get to spend them all with my husband. give or take a few saturday dance practices here and there or a dance competition i think my husband i have slept apart 4 times in total. i do not find this out of the norm.... apparently some people do.
we woke up this morning and i thought we'd have a nice day together... figured he'd go fishing for awhile... we'd come back watch some tv, take a ride or a million other little things i now feel are too "boring". he gets a phone call at 8:30 this morning from a friend who lives 2 hours away to see if he wants to go fishing out on his boat today... at 11am... until god knows when... with another 2 hours drive home... sleep for the night to follow...
so there goes my day... oh, and my nighttime too.
i think it's rude and inconsiderate to just up and leave with an hours notice... if this guy had called yesterday things may be different. so i explained to my husband that i really didn't think he should go because i thought we would spend the day... yes and the weekend give or take a few hours together. this led to the following tirade of mean and hurtful things... which he doesn't think are either:
"i don't get to do anything"
"whens the last time i asked to do anything"
"i don't know anyone else who spends this much time together"
"you always have to have something planned"
"it's unhealthy for people to spend 48 hours together"
"it's not good for our marriage"
"all my friends get to do stuff and i don't"
"you should live in disney world so you'd think everything was perfect"
"are you jealous of me??"
"you have to go out with your own friends"
"everyone needs their space"
and more...
i have never been a person with many friends and AM OKAY with that!
i never needed a "girls night out" or "space". and i don't feel like i HAVE to go out with my own friends. never was a NEED for me to have a group of girlfriends. SORRY.
i am beyond hurt and confused and embarrased and angry.
never expected this from the man i married.
for the second time this week i feel like i've been punched right in the gut.
i look forward to weekend because i get to spend them all with my husband. give or take a few saturday dance practices here and there or a dance competition i think my husband i have slept apart 4 times in total. i do not find this out of the norm.... apparently some people do.
we woke up this morning and i thought we'd have a nice day together... figured he'd go fishing for awhile... we'd come back watch some tv, take a ride or a million other little things i now feel are too "boring". he gets a phone call at 8:30 this morning from a friend who lives 2 hours away to see if he wants to go fishing out on his boat today... at 11am... until god knows when... with another 2 hours drive home... sleep for the night to follow...
so there goes my day... oh, and my nighttime too.
i think it's rude and inconsiderate to just up and leave with an hours notice... if this guy had called yesterday things may be different. so i explained to my husband that i really didn't think he should go because i thought we would spend the day... yes and the weekend give or take a few hours together. this led to the following tirade of mean and hurtful things... which he doesn't think are either:
"i don't get to do anything"
"whens the last time i asked to do anything"
"i don't know anyone else who spends this much time together"
"you always have to have something planned"
"it's unhealthy for people to spend 48 hours together"
"it's not good for our marriage"
"all my friends get to do stuff and i don't"
"you should live in disney world so you'd think everything was perfect"
"are you jealous of me??"
"you have to go out with your own friends"
"everyone needs their space"
and more...
i have never been a person with many friends and AM OKAY with that!
i never needed a "girls night out" or "space". and i don't feel like i HAVE to go out with my own friends. never was a NEED for me to have a group of girlfriends. SORRY.
i am beyond hurt and confused and embarrased and angry.
never expected this from the man i married.
Comments
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so sorry to hear that your having a hard time. The things he said would be hurtful, i understand.
Kris19
wow that sounds identical to me and my husband. We've spent maybe a total of 7 at the most 10 days apart since we started dating. He also thinks that we shouldnt spend so much time together sometimes and sometimes goes on rampages like your husband did. So I know exactly what your going through. Hugs Monica.
sweetangel
Aw. I'm so sorry. I feel like my husband and I are kind of going through the same thing. Only I haven't had a saturday with him in God knows how long. He is usually working, but if he does ever get a Saturday off, he certainly doesn't spend it with me. He's either playing golf or working on his grass patches (cause its almost hunting season). But if I say anything, he acts like he's the victim. I just want to spend some time with him, but he says that he thinks it's healthy for us to do our own things. It's very frustrating. I hope you and your husband can talk about it, and maybe he can see your point of view a little better.
egs827