gillanne's Journal

I would love to express one true feeling at the moment but the truth is, I am not sure how I do feel. I don't know if I have surpressed my feelings for so long that I do not allow myself to feel  hurt.

I lost one son in death 15 yrs ago. I have one living son. The living son is a son in birth, only. He never calls nor comes to c my husband & I. My husband is his father. He does not acknowledge our birthdays nor any other occassion. He has a wife and 2 beautiful children. My husband & I have been close to the grandchildren and now for no reason at all they r saying the same hurtful things I have heard my son & his wife say. They, too, have now chosen to stay away from us. The girl is 15, the boy 13. My grandson did call yesterday because he needed something.  I am not sure I even want to try any more, to patch the many holes in our relationships.

In the past they would be friendly to us for a limited time and than for whatever reason they would no longer speak.  Yes, it is sickening. In as honest as I know how to be, my real concern are the grandchildren. I am watching this family problem destroy them, espically the grand-daughter and I absolutely can not hardly endure that. So it seems as I have written about my situation I reconigize I do feel pain and grief. Grief for the loss of the children.

 Sincerly I ask for your prayers and whatever imput u offer.