Hi today I'm trying to find some …
Hi today I'm trying to find some help to take my mind off my back pain. I currently take enough pain medication that …
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juliec3 
7:58pm, December 29, 2008
Things just aren't going well here...but what did I expect?
Mom is more depressed than ever; her other kids rarely (and I mean RARELY) ever call.
My brother is local and still never shows up....just too busy with himself.
MY probs are getting ignored; STILL.
I just can't do it anymore all alone (cry).
I'm bagging the weekly drive to the FibroandFatigue Center in Pittsburgh for the IVs.
Another thing I can't do alone anymore...it's too hard with declining brain function.
Yeah...still DECLINING. Plus, it's expensive...and I have yet to file the insurance paperwork to see if I will get any reimbursement at all. (well, if the concentration were there....lol; no I'm not really laughing but being very sarcastic. I'm really VERY depressed).
Seems the thyroid med this doc in PA put me on has caused major monthly hormonal distress...down is really down now; so I'm taking myself OFF. (I also just eat all day long on this crap, and am more tired....that can't be good).
The 'fog' distresses me more than anyone knows, but I can't find anyone who will listen (esp a doctor!), or who will believe me (because to get myself to another doc's office, I have to muster up all my energy...thus, the "but you don't look sick" syndrome). Another problem is the ongoing female physical distress (possible endometriosis) is finally going to be looked at by yet another GYN, but not for another 2 weeks. Oh, God, help me through this isolation to make it.
Gotta stop the Darvocet, too...doesn't do crap for the pain really, and is making me moodier than moody.
I just pray for that sudden change of scenery and people...GOT to get back to the SoCal beaches.
SO, if ANYONE knows of ANYTHING (maybe even a church who will 'adopt' me), PLEASE email me! I don't have a real 'family' anymore, and these people I'm related to are just bringing me down FURTHER.
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My heart goes out to you for not only the physical problems you are having and the negative effects on the meds...but especially the lack of support you are getting from your mom and family.
Life is tough for all of us...but how we get through the really tough times is by being able to support each other. Sometimes we're strong enough to carry our own crosses, but yet other times, we aren't and need help. I'm sure your family members have their own problems, but its as hame that they aren't inspired to help you as, I'm sure you would help them.
It sounds like the best you can do is just distance yourself from them and seek out support via other means, such as DS. I wish I could be there to help you in person, but, I hope, I can support you via DS.
Take care!
getfuzzy
biggg huggggggg girl..sorry you are going through all of this..sometimes are so called family seems more like enemies !!!!! that is so sad :( ....hugggsss to help you through
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