Downgraded my "Feel-Good" Status
August 19, 2009 10:04pm
to FAIR, because the economy is really grating on my nerves, and making me feel rather helpless. I normally make a pretty good living working …
Progress
50 %
koolman
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About Me
koolman
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About Me
I am an artistic person, into photography, videography, video editing, sound design, music, writing and acting. I love long rides on my bicycle, golf & tennis. I'm the oldest of three (formerly four) siblings. I think I've generally got a healthy sense of humor, but recent events have surely humbled me! Whatever grandiose dreams I may have had, about being the next Spielberg in Hollywood or whatever have currently been chopped down to: Stay healthy and share love.
I am an artistic person, into photography, videography, video editing, sound design, music, writing and acting. I love long rides on my bicycle, golf & tennis. I'm the oldest of three (formerly four) siblings. I think I've generally got a healthy sense of humor, but recent events have surely humbled me! Whatever grandiose dreams I may have had, about being the next Spielberg in Hollywood or whatever have currently been chopped down to: Stay healthy and share love.
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Interests
Photography, filmmaking, golf, tennis, bicycling, discussing philosophy, religion, politics, current events, literature, film.
Photography, filmmaking, golf, tennis, bicycling, discussing philosophy, religion, politics, current
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Recent Activity
Recently:
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1 discussion post
November 20
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koolman wrote a discussion post in the Colon Cancer support group: Dr. Schulze's Gallbladder Flush 3:22pm
I don't have cancer, colon or otherwise (and want to stay that way). Even though this drink is meant…
November 16
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koolman wrote a discussion post in the Healthy Sex support group: Favorite Positions to Watch 12:24pm
in porn? I love watching two lesbians scissor and bump butts with a dildo in between them. That is so…
April 28
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koolman turned 44 12:00am
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Journal
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Another Letter to My Departed Brother...
August 1, 2009 6:18am
Just watching movies from 2002 when you were already complaining about what you thought was acid reflux (and we later learned to be a colon tumor …
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Went to a Movie with a Female Friend of Mine...
July 25, 2009 11:28am
...from 20 years ago and we had a lot of laughs and great time. I enjoyed being close to her. She kicked her dead-beat boyfriend (my …
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Had Fun!
July 16, 2009 2:16pm
Finished that big credit union project...was cheesy and without depth but had its moments of fun. Immediately after, went on a 2-week vacation …
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Further Tales of the Psyche
June 8, 2009 12:51pm
Took on a big video editing project for a local credit union, mostly because I need the money, partly because I needed something to take my mind off …
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Hugbook
Hug
Hey hun. Been kinda rough for me lately. But today I think I've rounded a corner and am on the up and up. :) Have a good rest of your week!
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Hey you! Long time! How have you been?
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you are too sweet.. yep married, but ignored.. lol.. good luck to you.
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thank you so much for your message, and all of you wonderful advice.. He also uses humor, and is always cracking everyone up.. I just want him to find a girl..He deserves to feel that type of love, he is such a lovable person.. Again, thank you so much..
Deb -
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I just read your post to the thread about how cool you were in high school.. My oldest son is the same way you were.. the shyness, the akward feelings, I mean you described him to a "T" how did you break out of it? what as a mother can i do to help him? Seeing that you are no longer like that gives me hope!
Blessed be!
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Photos
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Bereavement
Type: Loss of a SiblingMy brother passed away January 31 '07 of colon, liver, lymph and spinal cancer. He was a truck driver who was always behind the 8-ball financially, so he didn't get a health insurance policy until he was already in horrible pain. He had a lot of acid reflux, so he and we all assumed it was ulcer-related. Blood work and an MRI proved that it was cancer. By the time he was diagnosed, he was in the final stages of Stage IV. I lost my best friend, the greatest brother in the whole world!
Treatments
- Crying Working / Worked
- It helps when I'm feeling like I want to "mix it up" with people, I go for a bike-ride and try to get involved in a volleyball game or some other contact sport.
- Crying Somewhat Helpful
- It relieves tension and is temporarily "on and off" successful. Whenever I hear a sad song or I get near doctor's offices or medical facilities, the depression sets in.
- Grief Counseling Too Soon to Tell
- I'm here as a form of "grief counseling".
- Prayer Somewhat Helpful
- It helps somewhat, but my brother never was much of a religious person. I find talking DIRECTLY to him, spiritually, helps sometimes, when I look at a fond picture.
Close Anxiety
My brother died January '07 of cancer. We were really close and I was there with him to hear exactly what he was going through almost to his last breath. Since his passing, there's been a void of emptiness that is impossible to fill. I find it difficult to relax and find my center at various times of day, and there's a persistent muscle tension around my mid-section that just won't go away. I don't want to drink alcohol or get hooked on meds for the problem. Any advice?
Treatments
- Acai Too Soon to Tell
Open Colon Cancer
Stage: 0 (Tis)I lost my brother at age 40 to this God-awful disease in January '07, and I'm still struggling to cope with his demise, so my story is one of grief. A big chunk of my heart and soul died with my brother. I got a colonoscopy this year and checked out fine, not a single polyp, so I'm thankfully not suffering from this disease, but watching a loved one die from it has hollowed my heart to the core in a profound way. The emptiness is unbearable at times.
Open Healthy Sex
What can I tell ya? Single, 42 years old, fair-skinned, blonde haired, blue-eyed, keep myself fit.
Treatments
- Patience Working / Worked
- I try to be patient in all aspects of life, particularly money and sex, but sometimes feel a bit deprived. I don't have a pretty face like Brad Pitt, but I do have a body like Tom Cruise (especially the pecs and glutes).
Open Healthy Relationships
I'm 42 years old, physically in great shape, Single, never married, seeking someone, was seeing a Vietnamese woman for awhile, we had our "cross-cultural" communication problems and it didn't work out.
Treatments
Open Codependency
Generally pretty confident, slip into depression sometimes, need a shoulder to lean on for emotional reinforcement...
Treatments
Open Health Care Reform
Bereavement: Lost my brother to cancer. He got screwed financially by the insurance company. I'm all for universal healthcare.
Open Multiple Sclerosis (MS)
My 30-year-old sister is in the process of being tested to see if she's got MS. Will let you know more later as I know more later...
Open Shyness
When it comes to meeting and asking out women, yes, I'm extremely shy. I can be bold for short bursts, and then I withdraw. I hate this!
