janetccantrell's Journal

Well last night I almost accomplished my goal- I got drunk as a skunk - took a bunch of xanax unplugged my phones and almost overslept today.  The oversleeping part wasnt part of my goal I had hoped I just wouldnt wake up today.  I really am ready to go if it weren't for my son I'd have just downed the morphine in the closet.   Lynda came over and had to wake me and Dylan up - she took Dylan to school today as they are doing their big walk over to the Elementary School.  Friday I plan on taking off to spend Field Day with him and I cannot wait- What is done with Michael is done - If he can sleep well at night so be it- I know I  did nothing wrong and once again I end up on the SHIT end of the stick- He is certainly worth no more comments on my part- The world is full of Players and at his age he will eventually get his - besides I know about his performance or rather inability and I have the last laugh there - My life will go on as it has - routine - there is some comfort in routine- and there is certainly less drama and less vulnerability in not dating - why bother my soulmate is dead.  School starts back up this fall and I have enrolled in three classes again, French, Algebra, and abnormal psychology - (that should be a trip) - I have my FINAL grade - A in world religions; B in world literature; and C in US History, so I have a 3.0 average- hopefully will bring that up in the fall-