shaz5980's Journal

Well life has finally slowed down and rolling along calmly.  I have felt this calm in a long long time. I know that the support I get here from friends and other have helped.

My eldest grandson Dylan heard his brothers heartbeat when he went to the doctors with his mum for her check up. The little one will be here in August.

Even though Brock (3 yr old grandson) stopped breathing due to his asthma last week I never panicked. I just got him up and his brother Dylan and took him to the hospital. Once they had given him the necessary meds and he was starting to get upset at being at the hospital I left with him. They wanted me to stay longer but I knew that if we did his attack would worsen rather than get better. After we got back to his house he fell asleep in 2 minutes as was fine for the rest of the night. Took him to doctors next day and got the meds needed to help him over this attack. He had a little problem the next night and I put him back at the top of his bed which I had elevated and 5 minutes later he was fine.

I will contact the police tomorrow to see where they are with the statements from family so that we can get my abuser charged. I have never been very good at waiting and it has been oer 3 months since I have heard anything.

Now that I am starting to sit back and not panic and take one step at a time and not try to do more than one thing at a time life seems to be flowing. I am not kidding myself that it will always be this way but it is certainly a big start. Just to think that if I had prioritised before now things may have been calm before any problem. This must be the biggest lesson I have learned in life so far, it is a shame it has taken nearly 50 years.

After only spending 9 days intermitently at home last month I am looking forward to being home a lot more.