Journal

Wow, times flies... Where have I been? Working lots of work which is a good thing. I'm trying to get back to writing, gardening and yoga. Doing a lots of recovery groups/meetings. CR plus I've entered a eating disorder recovery group. I've recovered and hoping to show that recovery is possible. Plus this will help keep me balanced. What else??? My neighbor sent my kitty to the pound.. $55 to get him out of jail )0: They where going to kill him..  But he is Alive and glad to be home!(0: 
I'm looking into Fall classes in the field of Human Services.
I'm hoping to reconnect with my friends here.
Sending you all prayers and energy of peace & wellness!

I sent Jay an e-mail last night.
He repied so nicely-allowing me the space I need.
The barking about the food he said he was playing like a child who wouldn't eat their spinach.
That he guesses it doesn't work when you have an adult voice.
That he hopes our relationship is more that sexual.
Last week is the first time I've even admitted to it being more than sex and having a relationship. I'm going to sharing more with him through e-mail and see what happens.

Some things just hit me wrong-the mixed messages like he can be sweet as can be... Then something like dinner last night-I asked him if he wanted some artichokes and he barked " no, don't ever ask me that again"- it was the tone of voice that bothered me. But then when he prayed at the table he Thanking God for the food and the time we where able to spend together.... and I was connected enough to go up to the altar to pray with him.
Went to the ladies CR step study tonight-What stuck-Forgiveness is setting the prisoner free And realizing the prisoner is you. CR helps me bring up the things I need to look at a little at a  time-process my thoughts. One question was what new healthy relationships have you developed since you have been in recovery. Time eating dinner regularly with the children. Then the relationship with Jay is both healthy and not so healthy. I know that you can rise him up without rising your voice. I like what Carolyn Kenmore said "If you can learn from hard knocks you can also learn from soft touches" and Mary Carpenter "We have two lives-the one we are give and the one we make.