Journal

When I was 13 I have thought about joining the army,navy or the air force, the older I got the more  I wanted to join. At those times I had no worries at all. Now I have been researching more about it. The pay isn't great but the experience would be. My issues are that I can't join and fight for a country where my rights as a homosexual aren't covered. If I lose my life it would be for nothing at all. I am from a semi military family,my uncles were in the military when they were younger and it has been a dream of mine to do something no woman in the family as yet to complete and that it is to live a full military life. Plus 2 to 3 years will help us financially. I don't what to do.

Getting to work this summer was easy and it kept me busy enough not to notice some of the bad going around me. I made enough money to get an apartment and then my brother's medical bills came in. Medicaid can only cover so much and for that I am thankful. We had to use all of our money to pay some of the bill, we've been making minimum payments and at times now we have missed a payment or 2. Life is hard but I guess if it wasn't than it wouldn't be worth fighting for. I am glad to be back on here, I missed being on this site. What I get here I don't think I can get it somewhere else. I have been reading about zen, meditation and a whole new way of looking and living my life. Today is columbus day and yet its one of those holidays that don't feellike a holiday,most holidays have special things to do on it, have decorations, costumes...you name it, this is a boring holiday.Nothing to do but wait for the day to go by.