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NANCPATT 
9:47pm, December 4, 2008
Hello Dear Jesus,
It’s been a long, long time.
I hope that you still know me,
I’ve been hiding quite awhile.
I know that you know all things
Still, I think I should explain,
The reason I’ve been hiding
Is because of all the shame.
I know that I don’t look so great
For meeting up with you
But I hope you understand
I’ve been alone since I was eight.
You probably see the dirt marks
And smudges on my face
But it seems no matter how I try
Some things can’t be erased.
They say that eyes are windows
That peer into the soul.
I’m afraid that if you look there,
You’ll find it dark and cold.
I’m not sure why it is, Lord,
But you won’t see any tears.
I guess they’ve just been locked up
Inside me all these years.
I know that limp and lifeless
Is my unruly hair.
I guess that’s just what happens
When no one really cares.
And if you ask a question
I won’t have much to say.
I’ve found that no one really wants
To hear me anyway.
And if you care to listen,
Sit quiet and you’ll hear
How hard my heart is pounding.
That’s because of all the fear.
You’ll notice that I wrap my arms
Around me all the time.
I do that for protection
Of the things that should be mine.
See, not so very long ago,
Without an ounce of care,
Someone took away from me
Things I never meant to share.
And if you find I tremble
When you come close to me,
It’s because of all the dreadful things
That someone did to me.
Jesus I’m so sorry
If these things have saddened you.
But when I cried out to you
You never told me what to do.
I know that in my mother’s womb
You created me
And I can’t help but wonder
Is this what I was meant be?
They say that you are everywhere,
With each and every one,
But it seems that on those dark nights
You left me all alone.
They tell me that you love me
And I suppose it’s true,
But Jesus, please remember
That he said he loved me too.
It’s been a long, long time.
I hope that you still know me,
I’ve been hiding quite awhile.
I know that you know all things
Still, I think I should explain,
The reason I’ve been hiding
Is because of all the shame.
I know that I don’t look so great
For meeting up with you
But I hope you understand
I’ve been alone since I was eight.
You probably see the dirt marks
And smudges on my face
But it seems no matter how I try
Some things can’t be erased.
They say that eyes are windows
That peer into the soul.
I’m afraid that if you look there,
You’ll find it dark and cold.
I’m not sure why it is, Lord,
But you won’t see any tears.
I guess they’ve just been locked up
Inside me all these years.
I know that limp and lifeless
Is my unruly hair.
I guess that’s just what happens
When no one really cares.
And if you ask a question
I won’t have much to say.
I’ve found that no one really wants
To hear me anyway.
And if you care to listen,
Sit quiet and you’ll hear
How hard my heart is pounding.
That’s because of all the fear.
You’ll notice that I wrap my arms
Around me all the time.
I do that for protection
Of the things that should be mine.
See, not so very long ago,
Without an ounce of care,
Someone took away from me
Things I never meant to share.
And if you find I tremble
When you come close to me,
It’s because of all the dreadful things
That someone did to me.
Jesus I’m so sorry
If these things have saddened you.
But when I cried out to you
You never told me what to do.
I know that in my mother’s womb
You created me
And I can’t help but wonder
Is this what I was meant be?
They say that you are everywhere,
With each and every one,
But it seems that on those dark nights
You left me all alone.
They tell me that you love me
And I suppose it’s true,
But Jesus, please remember
That he said he loved me too.
Comments
Thank you SO much for posting this lovely poem! It is how I have often felt, and still do at times. I used to have problems with the bible verse about asking your father for an egg and he would not give you a scorpion, and how God's love was so much greater than even what a good father would try to give his child. My father gave me nothing but pain and feelings of worthlessness. How then could I believe that the heavenly Father would want to give me any better than that? But He DOES want better for me! I may never understand or know the answer to the question, "Why me?" but I do know that even though my earthly family had no clue as to how to love a child, there is indeed a heavenly Father that DOES love me and thinks of me as His masterpiece, which is a far cry from what I ever knew before. This poem brings back to mind all of the blessings, strength and courage that my heavenly Father has blessed me with, even though there were times when I screamed and cursed at the trials that I was going through. I am sure He understands, even the times I was angry and hurting, screaming to the heavens, and untrusting. I think there is a whole universe of understanding there that we are not able to comprehend just yet. Thank you for this. I am assured, once again, that I am not alone, not the only one with these feelings. Giant hugs to you!
mtnmama62
This is a great poem.I know it speaks for many of us.I too have had problems with trusting my heavenly Father because of my earthly father.I have heard many preachers say that we compare God to our fathers.And the where were you when I was being mistreated question we all ask. We just have to trust and know HE did not cause the harm or approve of it. He gives all of us choices.bad people make bad choices and we suffer for it.
You are a wonderful person.So glad to have you for a friend! Hugs.
reffas
Wow, that's really an amazing poem
Person913
your are truly awesome hun and your good at poems
PleaseNotAgain