I prefer to keep my profile private, but I'll share a little about me. I struggle a lot with my life, always have. I want to be normal and have a normal life, but I just can't seem to change it regardless of how hard I try. I think I was born shy and afraid of people. Then I was hurt time and time again by being sexually abused throughout my childhood. Because I didn't know how to stop it, the abuse went on until I was 30 yrs. old and finally began the process of recovery in therapy. By this time however, I had developed an eating disorder and was well into the disease of addiction. I fell head over heals in love with my first husband and got married when I was 21. After being together for 12 yrs. he was accused, charged, convicted, and sent to prison for attempted child sexual abuse. My life came crashing down around me and I went into major state of depression and was hospitalized for it. This is when I began working on my recovery from the sexual abuse. I divorced my first husband and remarried. I know now that this was really a marriage of convenience for us both. We were compatible and got along real well, but it lacked real deep love. He gave me very little affection and there was almost no sex. I now live on my own in a cozy little apartment, which I'm thankful for. I still struggle with depression, anxiety, and the disease of addiction. I've been hospitalized about 5 times for the depression. Because of the depression I can't work and I'm on disability. I've been in and out of Narcotics Anonymous for about 7 yrs. now and just can't seem to stay clean. I did get 19 months once and the last time, I made it 15 months clean. On 09/09/09 I surrendered my desease again. I've been clean for 5 days now. I recently ended a relationship (friendship) with my very best friend because there were issues that we just couldn't seem to get ironed out. I got hurt very bad and I'm now having a very difficult time trusting anyone or even opening my life up to anyone again. I've shut myself off from the outside world and pretty much stay in my apartment with the blinds closed. Because I recently went to an NA meeting and surrendered my disease, I know I have to come out of isolation and begin attending meetings and working the program if I want to stay clean and sober. But it's extremely hard for me and I'm really, really scared about opening myself up to the outside world again. My hope is that maybe this site will be a good place to start that process.
I prefer to keep my profile private, but I'll share a little about me. I struggle a lot with my life, always have. I want to be normal and have a normal life, but I just can't seem to change it regardless of how hard I try. I think I was born shy and afraid of people. Then I was hurt time and time again by being sexually abused throughout my childhood. Because I didn't know how to stop it, the abuse went on until I was 30 yrs. old and finally began the process of recovery in therapy. By this time
reading, writing, walking, cooking, music, spending time on my computer
reading, writing, walking, cooking, music, spending time on my computer
September 17, 2009 9:03pm
Feeling pretty down again today. I know now that I've got to go back to the program and start working it in order to get better. This is such a …
September 16, 2009 9:27pm
I felt a lot better today. I got up and got showered and dressed right away. I also made my bed and washed up the few dishes I left last night. My …
September 15, 2009 8:52am
I'm feeling overwhelmed with everything this morning and I just want to shut down and be left alone by everyone. I've got an appointment at …
September 14, 2009 9:03am
I've decided to come back and use DS to help me deal with my daily struggles and difficulties with depression. I spent some time last night …
just wanted to see how you are doing?
That's awesome nik! good for you! I'm sure you look beautiful!
I did the same. quit 09/09/09 In honor of the attack on new york, people who died and for their loved ones
I know you want to be left alone but I wanted you to know that you are in my prayers today...also sometimes when I get really sad I go to see what my angels have to say for me you can do this by being in prayer and pic an angel card just think of the things you want to hear about and pull 3 cards for me they have worked I have been a skeptic for a long time but thru lots of Pray and medetation to Jesus I believe that they are here to inspire us and to guide us...NO i never channel them I just feel them they talk to me thru music and friends and clouds and pictures today I ask that you give it a try they really help me and I HOPE they help you. PS i found out I was pregnant thru these cards and that I was on the right path...In a word full of darkness they help me to feel loved and light! God bless you and check out this website! http://www.consciousone.com/c1Card... Just sit quietly and think of your questions and then pick 3 cards ...hope they help
I'm so glad we met! I'm very proud of you!
Progress
30 %
Because I need help and support in dealing with my depression. I also hope to help others by sharing my struggles and reaching out to those who also need support and encouragement.
Because I'm a recovering addict who's drug of choice is marijuana. I am just getting clean again and need support. I also hope to be a support to others in this group by sharing and reaching out.
I'm here to get support for issues related to the incest I suffered during my childhood.
To get help and support in dealing with my food addiction problem. I also hope to help encourage and support others who suffer from this same problem.
I'm here for understanding and support from others who are going through the same thing. I also hope to reach out to others with support and encouragement as well.
