Join Now
Amanisha 
8:51pm Thursday
So now that I have BPD, and the ex boyfriend left. I started thinking and i am depressed. I can never get married... I don't think any guy is going to want tomarry me with BPD. I will be too hard to handle.
Ever since i was a little girl i always dreamed about my wedding day, the dress, my family being there, the reception, the fun, walking down that isle. I used to play my wedding with my friends... i didn't have a boyfriend when i was 7, but it was fun to pretend.
Now since i was supposed to announce my engagement to Joel this summer and all that crap happend. i don't think i can even see me walking down the isle. Ever since the doctors told me that I have BPD, that dream died.
I can't have kids either, i am old fashoined where i would like to have a husband, not that going to a fertility clinic isn't an option or adpotion. I just don't have the heart to pass this mental disorder to my kids. They will hate me for it, I don't want them to suffer like I am. i will never be able to hold my baby in my arms and do all the things that moms do.
After what happend with Joel, it's impossible to even think that marring is in my future. I am a BPD, is too hard for most people. This is just depressing and hard for me to accept.
UPDATED GOALS
Learn to Live with BPD
Progress 10%
Encouragements: 5
Add your support
Comments
i am married, and have been for almost 9 years. i have three happy, healthy boys as well. there is hope. don't give up just yet!
deepbluewild
I dont mean to be rude.....but, there are MANY people with BPD who are happily married....and have children! You have NOT received a death sentence....but a disorder that can be comtrolled with medication......like diabetes or epilepsy. You are thinking too much....dont give up on your dreams yet....xx
abfab
Really, you can have a life with bpd. Maybe the split from your byfriend is making you feel down and over analyse things a bit hun. You CAN live a happy full life, just keep working with the med's and therapy.xxx
tasty6six6
As you can see, many people w/ bpd live happy full lives, and have wonderful loving families. Sure you may have challenges, so don't we all. You need to realize that Joel was a cancer in your life, HE was your biggest problem. And now that you are free of him, you actually HAVE the chance to make your dream come true. A marriage to a controlling abusive man would have been your worst nightmare, and your kids would have suffered from that. Take it from someone who has been there and done that. Now, take some time to build you, your self confidence, to understand yourself, to put yourself first. Then, you will make a better choice in men next time.
BPD does;t mean you are defective any more than diabetes makes me so. STOP THINKING THAT!!!! It is only a big deal if you make it so. I am watching an ad on TV right now about an attorney who has BPD...You can still have the life you want. Stand up! Be somebody! And thank God every day that you didn't end up marrying a man who would bring you nothing but misery.
hockeymom5592
Your kids will not hate you for passing on BPD... it also doesn't mean you are defective either. Hockeymom is right.
God has someone in mind for you, but you must learn to love yourself first before you can find someone who will love you just as much as you do.
RubyMcC
Keep your chin up girl. There are people in this world who will love you and accept that you have bpd and they will love you even more just realizing how strong you are for being able to deal with BPD. That takes so much strength to get through. I know right now it seems like you will never get to live out the future you want to, but trust me, there's someone out there who will love and accept everything about you.
mysticdawnie