Jaken

About Me

I left a stable marriage with an unstable head full of turmoil. I wound up in a more appropriate relationship..more relative to my state of mind. I loved my husband, but not enough. I loved the boyfriend way too much. It was unhealthy, and unhealthy is what I respond to best. It's how I was raised. I'm learning and wanting a better life everyday. The boyfriend is known as "the ex-moron". The husband is just "the ex". The ex moron drank and lied his way through most of our relationship. There were several traumatic events, including his theatrical suicide attempt after being caught in a year's worth of lying to me. All the therapy and all the retries failed, time and time and time again. He most recently put the number of a married woman he was sleeping with (on one of our downtimes) in his phone under the name of one of his buddies. She called, he announced it was his buddy, didn't take the call, acted a little weird, and I knew.... I found it, had a panic attack, and asked him to leave. As it stands currently, I feel a bit liberated, and am not feeling that addictive pull to him. This happened Nov 10, 2008. This freedom from obsessing over him has finally allowed me to grieve and give my failed marriage it's proper remorse. I am trying hard to forgive myself. I was careless with the heart of an amazing human being. This is a tough pill to swallow.

I left a stable marriage with an unstable head full of turmoil. I wound up in a more appropriate relationship..more relative to my state of mind. I loved my husband, but not enough. I loved the boyfriend way too much. It was unhealthy, and unhealthy is what I respond to best. It's how I was raised. I'm learning and wanting a better life everyday. The boyfriend is known as "the ex-moron". The husband is just "the ex". The ex moron drank and lied his way through most of our relationship. There were