Almost clean
June 26, 2008 7:51pm
The last 3 nights I have got shit faced drunk. Blackout drunk and high. Today was suppose to be my quit day, but my roommate offered me to smoke weed …
Progress
15 %
ssn 
5:28pm, June 29, 2008
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About Me
ssn
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About Me
I am am a very friendly guy who grew up in rural Minnesota. Right now I am not too sure what I want to do with my life. Right now I am a substitute teacher and it kind of makes me want to be an actual teacher. One of my life goals right now is to complete college with somesort of degree. I enjoy video games,sports, and movies. I am a recovering addict.
I am am a very friendly guy who grew up in rural Minnesota. Right now I am not too sure what I want to do with my life. Right now I am a substitute teacher and it kind of makes me want to be an actual teacher. One of my life goals right now is to complete college with somesort of degree. I enjoy video games,sports, and movies. I am a recovering addict.
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Journal
This entry is private
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Journal Entry for June 22, 2008
June 22, 2008 5:18pm
Last night I was blackout drunk...I was on pain pills, weed, and alcohol. I think i might have hurt my hand that I just had surgery on. I really want …
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Journal Entry for June 15, 2008
June 15, 2008 4:04pm
I got drunk last night and got into a fight with my x girlfriend. She wouldn't support me when I was drunk crying and beat the hell out of …
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Marijuana Addiction & Recovery
I started smoking marijuana when I was a junior in high school. My oldest brother offered it to me. I didn't like it at first because it was way intense. After doing it a couple of times I fell in love because ulike alcohol, weed never gave me hangovers. My addiction progressed slowly. At first it was no big deal, I was stealing my dad's pot here and there but nothing too harmful. 3 years later I was doing anything and everything to find a bag, forgeting about who cared about me the most.
Treatments
- Narcotics Anonymous (NA) Too Soon to Tell
- I am having a hard time finding N.A. helpful right now because I am afraid of what people will think about me if I spill my guts out during a meeting. Alot of the time I go to meetings and I don't even talk, I just sit in the group and listen. Usually feel like shit after the meetings because I have a storm of emotions in my head in regards to my sexual abuse.
Close Alcoholism
My dad offered me my first drink one night when I was 13. I didn't like it much but the next year I drank 3 drinks and realized the reason why drinkers drink. It is because it feels wonderful. I fell in love. I didn't drink very heavily until my junior year in high school when I rolled my car. After I found marijuana, I stopped drinkings so much. I went to treatment because I knew that I had a problem and thought that it would be ok to drink again but I realized that it is my gateway to weed.
Treatments
- 12 Step Program Too Soon to Tell
- AA Meetings Too Soon to Tell
- Cold Turkey Too Soon to Tell
- Sleep Working / Worked
- Willpower Working / Worked
Open Gambling Addiction & Recovery
I started playing cards in junior high with a couple of friends a couple of times per week. We would mostly play Texas Holdem but every once and a while blackjack. I loved the rush of gambling. I snuck into a casino a couple of times before I turned 18. After I got comfortable gambling regularily, I started increasing my bets until it got to the point that I felt no control with my gambling. At one point I lost 900 dollars in one sitting!!! Never again will I gamble!!!
Treatments
- Distancing Working / Worked
- I quit gambling mostly because I learned that it can lead me back to alcohol and drugs. I am doing everything in my power to stay sober and I guess I need to give up this very exciting pasttime.
Open Self-Injury
I started cutting myself when I started smoking pot I just felt like trying it because my girlfriend did it. I wasn't really into cutting that much. I mostly just made scratches on my arms. When I was heavy into drugs and alcohol, I started burning myself as well. I loved that I could take my focus from mental pain to physical pain. I stopped completely when one of my deep burns got infected. I still have urges to harm myself though.
Treatments
Open Abstinence & Celibacy
I was sexually abused by my brother when I was a child and because of this, I have had problems with my sexual identity and confusion about my sexual identity. I told my gf that I am almost sure that I am gay and I want to not have sex with her anymore because I just feel shitty and I don't want to have sex with any guys because I would only have a one night stand or something like that. Plus the guys would probably be complete strangers and I would put my life in danger if I had sex with them.
Open Gay Men's Challenges
ssn hasn’t entered any details for this support group.Open Coming Out
I have been really confused about my sexuality ever since I was abused by my brother in elementary school. I have been "trying" to be straight, but it just doesn't work. I can't change the way that I feel. I have been in a relationship with a girl for three years and I finally told her that I am gay.
Treatments
- Weight Training Somewhat Helpful
- It really helps to lift weights and blow off some steam. Sometimes I feel like I am going to lift weights with my football coach from high school for the wrong reasons though. I think that he is very attractive and for a long time I have mostly been lifting weights to check him out.
Open Depression
ssn hasn’t entered any details for this support group.
