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caricature19 
1:44pm Monday
yeah I'm christian, yeah I have a relationship with God, and yeah I get pissed every time people tell me to PRAY about something when I talk to them about my PTSD or the two rapes. SOMETIMES WHAT I NEED IS A FUCKING HUG. But when I say that prayer doesn't make things go away instantly, they just reply with "how are you praying? you aren't submitting fully to God otherwise everything would be relieved instantly bla bla bla". bullshit. Sometimes God works on you and helps you work through things so you come out stronger and can help people who go through similar stuff etc. Sometimes He will use a situation to prep you for future stuff. If you let him. Sometimes he does fix things. So I asked "are friends meaningless then? if I should rely on God and prayer, whats the point of having friends?". I guess I'm all kinds of confused in my own life, I mean... when someone calls me crying, I ask what I can do to help and if they believe in God, I assure them he's there and prayer helps, etc.Like, I talk to God as a friend I can dump stuff on and who listens etc. And with friends, I go and give them a hug and sit with them if they need someone to be there. I DONT TELL THEM TO PRAY ABOUT IT and then discard them. Maybe that's just how things are in my head..... maybe I'm nuts. But I swear if I hear someone tell me to pray about things one more time, I'm going to tell them to fuck off. I pray just about daily (not on a schedule)like I talk to God openly, but I'm not perfect and I don't believe anyone else is perfect either, for that matter. If God wipes all your issues away asap, great, that must be amazing. But for me, I try to keep things open so He can work and help me heal, but that's just it. Its healing and takes a while. And rape doesn't go away. I just want God to help me turn it around so I come out stronger and to heal the deepest parts first. Not pretend like it didn't happen.
Comments
Right on! We have had a LOT of spiritual abuse in our family too. People who just don't get it. Don't worry, God gets it. I have prayed and prayed that people would understand how we feel, but I find that only those who have been a situation like yours have any clue.I have found that others are VERY uncomfortable with rape and sex crimes and so they don't know what to say, they want to just dismiss you to get out of their uncomfortable feelings. Then it is easy to feel abandoned. We felt very abandoned and isolated. That is why this group is so important. Here we can find others who DO get it and we can support each other.We can NOT pretend that it didn't happen, that only leads to more problems, but we can learn to live a great life inspite of what happened.Have you gone to the website www.healmyptsd.com It has been a great help to me!
The spiritual abandonment and abuse is some of the worse hurt our family faced in the aftermath of our trauma. I want you to know that God DOES care and so do we here on this site.
bgranny
I just saw this. Oh yeah!! You're not nuts. I am mad about the same kind of thing. You're not praying enough, you're vengeful (how unnatural), you attracted it somehow. It is like your reaction and how you feel is your fault. What's wrong is not that you were violated but that you were hurt by it. Noone would tell you that you are doing something wrong if you hobbling around on crutches after having your legs broken. Only in sexual crimes are victims treated this way.
Atarglu