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rippedsoul 
8:01pm, November 17, 2008
Today, my son went to court with his public defender to try to get his Plea Bargain withdrawn because of ineffective assistance assistance of council. Instead he got sentenced to 5 years Federal Time (which is 4 years with good behavior). I am trying to adjust. I am saying to myself, it could have been life. I am saying that I should be happy that it is not life. I am saying to myself that perhaps he needs to be there to get himself together. Then I feel a deep deep pain inside of me. Hard to type, cause my eyes are wet. Hard to see the monitor.
I will be OK, my friends, but I just had to come here to get my grounding and to get the support that you all can give me.
RS
Comments
5 days, 5 weeks, 5 months, 5 yrs...it is all time away from us and it hurts really bad. But they need us to be strong for them too, so we carry on and love them. One day they will come home and we will get to put the "they are home" letters on the DS site. Can't wait for that day. You are in my thoughts and prayers. We will get through this. God Bless, Sharon
slc123
When the judge said 14-30 yrs for my son, you could have knocked me over with a feather! My son is in the state prison here in MI and they keep changing the rules. I can say that the time does go by quickly. My son will have been incarcerated for 6 yrs the end of Jan '09. We will hang together and get through these humps in the road of life together. God will see us through!
keepmegoing
If you need to talk I am here. Take a few days and try to pull yourself together. You will be able to think more clearly. Get some rest if you can. I know you feel like its the end of the world right now. Keep coming back, it helps just to talk to ones in the same sort of situations. Hugs! Dont get overwhelmed. Take some time to adjust. Make a list, ask question. You can do this.
Waitingforhim
Agreed. Stay busy trying to get your feelings time to level out. It is the roughiest at the begining. We are here for you. Talk as often as you need to. Read posts, reach out to even newer ones than you and also to those having been in your situation longer. Everyone helps! So much wisdom and genuine caring for others really carries you a long way to dealing with this.
Love Rhea
PS Someday we will ALL get to post "they are home" ! That frame of mind does help. Looking for the positives.
tiredtiredtired
I am so sorry, RS, about your son. This is a horrible time for parents....shouldn't be this way, but, it is. Take care of yourself..........I am just so very sorry.....Love..Barbara
flmombs
I am sorry to hear this and i just want you to know that you are not alone i feel your pain and sometimes we do have to look at it like it could have been more time. I will be praying and asking God to wacth over you son and to guide his every footstep and to also give you the energy and strength that you need to make it through this in Jesus name amen.
yota1
Dear Ladies,
Thank you SOOOO much for your tender and thoughtful words! They are so comforting, my friends. I have been keeping busy and using my own coping skills (refocusing on positive things). It helps. I only permit myself think about it in small doses, until I am better able to cope. Any time is a bad time for us, but I am VERY appreciative that it was not longer. It could have been life. When i realized that he could be sentenced to life, that is what freaked me totally out. Having thought about this, I can say that I am thankful that it is only 5 years. I prayed that he would get no more than 5 years. I turned my son over to God and I suppose he is where he needs to be. Now I pray that he will learn how to never to go back, once he is out.
Thank you all again for your caring and kindness. God Bless you all and your family members.
Sincerely,
RS
rippedsoul
Just changed my feeling horrible face to feeling bad, I bet that it won't be long till I am at the feeling OK face, with the support of God and all of you.
Again, Thank you!
Much Love,
RS
rippedsoul
i am so sorry hon my son is inside too not yet court date i think april but we trying for bail soon
kate46
I know what you are going through! It will take time and it won't be easy. Bless you and we keep you and your family in our prayers!
MOMofAScottD
I read this the day after I sent my a message about the family christmas party. We were there the day our son got sentenced and it was the hardest thing to witness. many people said he should have got less but he had the Chief Justice and we must have got him on a bad day. If he could have got life then he was very lucky. Remember to keep in contact with him and tell him what is going on in your life. They say and I believe that it is important to keep them informed about changes. We re-did the bathroom downstairs (our sons room) and told him everything we did. We bought new mattresses and one was to replace his very old one, second hand. For some reason it means a lot to him so we have kept it and are storing it under his bed. Some requests we haven't done and he has accepted this but we try if we can. As I have told you before it has taken my husband and I 21/2 years to accept and move on. We talk to our son mostly on the weekend as it is cheaper and are able to visit. I remember you saying he is a long way from home. Photos, letters and phone calls are important. At times our son says hardly anything at all, he just likes to hear our voices, this can be a little hard after 4 or 5 phone calls in one day.
Remember stay strong and to look after yourself. You are know good to any one if you don't do this. Also remember to treat herself every now and then.
1959
Thank you for your kindness.
RS
rippedsoul