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rippedsoul 
8:01pm, November 17, 2008
Hello My Friends,
Life is so busy and so challenging, these days. I have been working on letting go of the pain related to my son and the choices he has made. Of course, I still love him and am there for him, but I don't spend my world trying to figure out what to do for him. He wrote me a horrible letter telling me that if I don't do everything he asks of me (send more money, etc.) he will never have anything to do with me again. He said he will not even come to my funeral. Yup, he is a jerk. He has apologized for his nasty letter, but it was a sign for me to move on with my world and not spend every day thinking about what I can do for him. I am still there for him, but not as focused on him. It has been healthy for me. He is where he is because of his choices. I don't have to suffer with him and suffer for him, especially when he is such a selfish and cold hearted person.
I have wanted to check in on you all and wanted to let you know that many of you come into my thoughts and prayers on occasion. I don't visit here like I used to, but I do check in once in a while. If you need me just send me a note and I will be there for you, in anyway that I can. I am not as savvy as some of you are, or as inspriational as others, but I will do my best to give you the support you need. I must chime in more often.
Many of you were there for me when I needed strength and support. You held me up and gave me guidance (you know who you are). God Bless you all and may you find inner strength to see you through all this maddness.
Warm Hugs and Much Respect,
RS
Comments
I have been working on healing my heart and my body. Had surgery and am doing well :) My son is my cross to bear, but I have come to realize that this is his karma. He put himself where he is and I will not suffer for him. I will not enable him. I will go on with my life. I love him, but I must take care of myself. I am healing. There is hope, if we want to feel better.
It might help that my son is not the nicest guy in the world. If he were still my little angel it would be more hurtful. He is my baby and used to be a sweetiepie. Things change. We have to accept this and move on. I don't want to be sad, so I refuse to be. Perhaps he will once again be a sweetheart ... ??? I am not going to give up on him and I continue to pray for him. God has helped me get through this and I am so grateful that I made a concerted effort to turn it all over to Him and all that He has done for me. If we do this with total sincerity it works :) I am finding peace.
I want to be here if I am needed by you all in anyway. The support that I was given with such open hearts here makes this such an incredible place to be :) All of you ladies gave me so much strength, support and love. I pray that the love you give comes back to you 10 fold and that you all find peace.
I will chime in to see if I am needed or can follow my role models (Rhea, Huskersky, and so many others), offering support to others when I can.
Know that when I am not able to get on as often as I would like, that you are all still in my thoughts.
Warmly,
RS
PS I was thinking about changing my name to BetterSoul, but that would be BS. so I will just remain RS :)
Comments
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How about repared soul! Glad to see your back and in better spirits!
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I am glad you are back, RS.........and healing.
I don't think my heart will ever heal.....Take care, Love, Barbara
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Glad to hear you are doing better. hang in there and keep it up and thanks for you kind words and support. You and your son are in my prayers.
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Hello, how about "revived soul"? So glas you wrote us and let us know you are doing better. that is one of the first things I learned here and that is to take care of myself. Please know that you and your son are in my thoughts and prayers for continued healing. HUGS!
Today, my son went to court with his public defender to try to get his Plea Bargain withdrawn because of ineffective assistance assistance of council. Instead he got sentenced to 5 years Federal Time (which is 4 years with good behavior). I am trying to adjust. I am saying to myself, it could have been life. I am saying that I should be happy that it is not life. I am saying to myself that perhaps he needs to be there to get himself together. Then I feel a deep deep pain inside of me. Hard to type, cause my eyes are wet. Hard to see the monitor.
I will be OK, my friends, but I just had to come here to get my grounding and to get the support that you all can give me.
RS
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5 days, 5 weeks, 5 months, 5 yrs...it is all time away from us and it hurts really bad. But they need us to be strong for them too, so we carry on and love them. One day they will come home and we will get to put the "they are home" letters on the DS site. Can't wait for that day. You are in my thoughts and prayers. We will get through this. God Bless, Sharon
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When the judge said 14-30 yrs for my son, you could have knocked me over with a feather! My son is in the state prison here in MI and they keep changing the rules. I can say that the time does go by quickly. My son will have been incarcerated for 6 yrs the end of Jan '09. We will hang together and get through these humps in the road of life together. God will see us through!
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If you need to talk I am here. Take a few days and try to pull yourself together. You will be able to think more clearly. Get some rest if you can. I know you feel like its the end of the world right now. Keep coming back, it helps just to talk to ones in the same sort of situations. Hugs! Dont get overwhelmed. Take some time to adjust. Make a list, ask question. You can do this.
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Agreed. Stay busy trying to get your feelings time to level out. It is the roughiest at the begining. We are here for you. Talk as often as you need to. Read posts, reach out to even newer ones than you and also to those having been in your situation longer. Everyone helps! So much wisdom and genuine caring for others really carries you a long way to dealing with this.
Love Rhea
PS Someday we will ALL get to post "they are home" ! That frame of mind does help. Looking for the positives.
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I am so sorry, RS, about your son. This is a horrible time for parents....shouldn't be this way, but, it is. Take care of yourself..........I am just so very sorry.....Love..Barbara
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I am sorry to hear this and i just want you to know that you are not alone i feel your pain and sometimes we do have to look at it like it could have been more time. I will be praying and asking God to wacth over you son and to guide his every footstep and to also give you the energy and strength that you need to make it through this in Jesus name amen.
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Dear Ladies,
Thank you SOOOO much for your tender and thoughtful words! They are so comforting, my friends. I have been keeping busy and using my own coping skills (refocusing on positive things). It helps. I only permit myself think about it in small doses, until I am better able to cope. Any time is a bad time for us, but I am VERY appreciative that it was not longer. It could have been life. When i realized that he could be sentenced to life, that is what freaked me totally out. Having thought about this, I can say that I am thankful that it is only 5 years. I prayed that he would get no more than 5 years. I turned my son over to God and I suppose he is where he needs to be. Now I pray that he will learn how to never to go back, once he is out.
Thank you all again for your caring and kindness. God Bless you all and your family members.
Sincerely,
RS
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Just changed my feeling horrible face to feeling bad, I bet that it won't be long till I am at the feeling OK face, with the support of God and all of you.
Again, Thank you!
Much Love,
RS
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i am so sorry hon my son is inside too not yet court date i think april but we trying for bail soon
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I know what you are going through! It will take time and it won't be easy. Bless you and we keep you and your family in our prayers!
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I read this the day after I sent my a message about the family christmas party. We were there the day our son got sentenced and it was the hardest thing to witness. many people said he should have got less but he had the Chief Justice and we must have got him on a bad day. If he could have got life then he was very lucky. Remember to keep in contact with him and tell him what is going on in your life. They say and I believe that it is important to keep them informed about changes. We re-did the bathroom downstairs (our sons room) and told him everything we did. We bought new mattresses and one was to replace his very old one, second hand. For some reason it means a lot to him so we have kept it and are storing it under his bed. Some requests we haven't done and he has accepted this but we try if we can. As I have told you before it has taken my husband and I 21/2 years to accept and move on. We talk to our son mostly on the weekend as it is cheaper and are able to visit. I remember you saying he is a long way from home. Photos, letters and phone calls are important. At times our son says hardly anything at all, he just likes to hear our voices, this can be a little hard after 4 or 5 phone calls in one day.
Remember stay strong and to look after yourself. You are know good to any one if you don't do this. Also remember to treat herself every now and then.
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Thank you for your kindness.
RS
Past Entries
| August 2008 |
Wednesday, 8/27
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Saturday, 8/16
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Saturday, 8/02
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You sound like you have been doing much soul searching and have come to some very wise decisions. It is so nice to hear from you and even if you don't chime in, I am glad you check in once in awhile. We are all here for each other. God Bless you too, sharon
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