Journal Entry for November 24, 2008
November 24, 2008 4:08am
As of October 29, 2008 I met my goal in full. I had hoped that he would do the right thing and work therapy, so that we could possibly work towards …
arctic5 
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About Me
arctic5
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About Me
45 yo RN. Health and fitness is my hobby. I have 2 children, but only one lives with me. I'm a very spiritual (not necessarily religious)person. My life's mission is to love and encourage people. I like to take life slowly and I'm learning to stop and smell the roses.
45 yo RN. Health and fitness is my hobby. I have 2 children, but only one lives with me. I'm a very spiritual (not necessarily religious)person. My life's mission is to love and encourage people. I like to take life slowly and I'm learning to stop and smell the roses.
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Interests
Exercise, fitness, and nutrition. I also make beaded jewelery. I volunteer and am on call for Alaska Nurse Alert System and another local program. This means that I deploy in an emergency or in a catostrophic event that might affect Anchorage, or anywhere else in Alaska. I also like bike riding, and camping by a lake in my motor home.
Exercise, fitness, and nutrition. I also make beaded jewelery. I volunteer and am on call for Alaska
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Recent Activity
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Journal
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over the hump
July 10, 2008 1:42am
I can almost exhale, but not quite. It has taken me more than a year to finally take the biggest step of my life. I finally pinned my husband down …
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Finally Making progress
June 25, 2008 3:39am
After telling my husband for the 1 millionth time that I am not happy, nor will being married to him ever make me happy, he has finally agreed that …
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Today
May 10, 2008 8:15pm
Today is another beautiful day in sunny Anchorage Alaska. The snow has melted on the ground, however, the mountain tops are still capped with snow. …
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Photos
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Support Groups
Close Breakups & Divorce
I've been in a marriage that has been going nowhere for 20 years. We have been separated emotionally for the duration of the marriage. I hoped that if I loved, supported, and compromised then my marriage would work. I now realize that it takes two to make a marriage sucessful and I can't be the only one doing all of the emotional work. Now I must do the work to come to terms with the fact that I've been alone as long as I've been married and that I'm better off being alone.
Treatments
- Couples Counseling Not Working
- No it didn't work. I had already made up my mind and I wasn't going to have someone change it for me. I basically wanted to see if there was anything that I needed to work on.
- Forgiveness Working / Worked
- I acknowledged my part in perpetuating the situation. If I didn't put up with it it would not have gone on for so long.
- Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked
- I have several friends who have been through similar situations.
- Talking Not Working
- He is not your average feeling, listening kind of person. Nice guy but he doesn't hear feelings.
- Time Working / Worked
- It is time that is steering me away from this unhealty relationship.
Close Healthy Relationships
I have been married for 20 years. We have had our ups and downs, but it really never was good. I married him because we had basically the same upbring. He is educated and did not have an ex wife or children in his past. Further, He was not a cheater. Instead he was brutely honest. In short, he fit my very basic criteria. 20 years latter I'm very unhappy. I want more from a relationship than what we have. He does not see the need in creating the kind of intimacy that keep a relationship going.
Treatments
- Couples Counseling Not Working
- We say 2 therapist, neither of them were any good. Each listened to our concerns, but neither gave us specific assignments, nor did they focus the session on addressing any issues.
- Patience Not Working
- I'm a very accepting and patient person. I found that if too much time passed by then my husband would think that my good naturedness and my good mood was an indicator that things were better. Then he'd stop trying. I'm good natured and happy by choice! Not his doing!!!
- Talking Not Working
- I talk the first few times, then I vent, at which time he promises to change.
- Writing Somewhat Helpful
- This is the only way that I have maintained my sanity. Writing helps me to identify my feelings and where they are coming from. It validates my concerns.
- Lexapro Working / Worked
- I have never been on an antidepressant in my whole life until now. Lexapro takes the edge off my depression and anxiety and helps me to get out of bed in the morning. Initially it made me feel nauseous.
- Mangosteen Juice Working / Worked
- I only took 16 of the doseone or twice a week instead of daily. It made me feel to drowsy. I need my focus to be unaltered.
