iammoosh's Journal

BIG BABY!!!!
Friday, June 20, 2008

so i saw my therapist this morning. as soon as i walked in the door, she said, "i need you to sign a release form for glory house." and i said, "i'm not going." she got this surprised look on her face. she said, "okay. you don't have to sign the release right now, but we need to talk about it first." so we talked. i told her, CRYING LIKE A BABY THE ENTIRE TIME, what my mom said, and how it hurt, and how it made me feel, and how i don't want to go to glory house because i'm going to be the fattest one there, and that i just... CAN'T. dr. klim normally sits in a chair across from the couch i sit on. so she got up from her chair, came over to the couch, and sat down next to me. she put her arm around my shoulder, and i just cried harder. and she let me cry for a good 20 minutes. she didn't even need to say anything. just having her sit next to me was enough. when i had composed myself, she looked me in the eye, and said, "ali, you are NOT fat. i treat obese patients, and you're far from obese. and you're not going to glory house to lose weight, or to gain weight. you're going because you need help. because you're sick." we talked about how i compare myself to my mom and sisters, and how that's not fair to me because they're all of a much smaller bone structure and MUCH shorter than me (no one in my family, including my dad, in taller than 5'5". i'm 5'8"...). my mom, dad and sisters have the IRISH build. i have the large boned DUTCH build.

we also talked about my intake and the nightmares/flashbacks i've been having, regarding my childhood sexual abuse, and how what lexi (my niece) is going through is affecting my own crap. dr. klim gave me some good ideas to try when i wake up from a nightmare or when i have a flashback. so at least i have some things to try...

at the end of the session, i agreed to sign the release for glory house... and dr. klim let me get my picture taken with her. i'm posting it here, but, again, i look fat. dr. klim is MUCH thinner than i am... but here it is anyway... 

i didn't eat breakfast today, but karrie insisted that i eat lunch, so i had a chicken wrap... i REALLY didn't want it..

Hug iammoosh   Send to a Friend     Share This

 Digg    Del.icio.us    furl    StumbleUpon    Facebook
   Yahoo!    Google

RATE THIS ENTRY:

Inspirational

Moving

Helpful

Creative

Comments

1. 

   Awwww Ali! I'm sorry your day was so screwed up and hard. I love you!

   
   

   ICanOvercome

2. 

   You are a beautiful woman! Please remember that. Please eat! Stay strong, we are here for you!

   
   

   HurtinginSC

Add a Comment