Ash0427's Journal

So...I've been working hard on my workouts but not so much on my diet, and i've discovered that even if you workout like a crazy person but eat garbage....you get no-where!!! It makes absolutly no difference....except for the fact that you're not gaining the weight...but i'm trying to lose so....i've got nothing. Today is the official day of my 2 week "No-cheating-even-if-you-think-you're-gonna-die-if-you-don't-have-that-piece-of-chocolate" experience. I'm gonna workout just as hard as I've been doing and eating exactly what my trainer tells me to eat. So far it's going well....but it's only 1130am so...lol....let's keep up the good work!! lol I've made myself a calendar so I can tick off the days as they pass. I find 2 weeks seems soooo long when you're craving ice-cream, but it's not that bad if you see it all in front of you, and you can see you only have a few days left. I've also made some food charts on excel to write down exactly what i'm eating, what workout I did, and any comments I have. I've put together a little journal so i can write down what i'm feeling, how i think i'm doing, and when i feel like i want to eat the whole fridge. I'm an emotional-eater so I really want to pin-point when I want to eat the most garbage, and what emotions I have associated with it. (I'm an organized freak!!) Hopefully all of this will keep me on the right track and keep me focused!

So....down to the truth.....i weigh-in this morning.....154...don't judge...I ate like a cow last night to mourn my loss of junk-food for 2 weeks. lol Let's see how this goes!!!!

I've basically come to terms with the fact that i've gained the weight back, and that I have to get on track if I want to be that thin again. I've been working hard today....watching what I eat....got in an amazing workout with my friend Erin...just a good day....but now that I want to go out with my friends....I can't because I literally have nothing to wear. All the clothes that I was wearing 2 months ago are too small...I can't even button up my jeans. And I REFUSE to be one of those people who wears sweatpants to bar. I'm so upset with myself because I worked sooooo hard before and then I just messed it all up. I have to cancel my plans with my friends because I've gotten fat!!! That's insane!!! Arrggghhh this just wants me to throw in the towel and forget it all....but I know I can do this...I just need some sort of results to keep pushing me towards my goal. I know it's only been a few days and that this takes some patience...but this is soo upsetting. I'm so upset with myself right now, it's hurts so bad.