tricia12557's Journal

I have been very busy with shopping, baking  and wrapping presents today and once I finally stopped a moment to catch my breath I realized I was so stressed I was not enjoying myself at all.  I've been very sad since yesterday when I found out my oldest son won't be able to come home for Christmas.  I was really looking forward to having all my kids together, but alas it is not to be.

I guess it's been a harder time of year since my Dad passed away and I find that I approach each holiday with dread because it's not the same and I still miss him terribly.  Christmas was his favorite holiday and always wanted us to be together.

But he will always be with me in my heart.  I wonder if the sense of loss will ever get easier to bear.  I guess that's why I wanted my son to be here because I miss him so much.  He lives in NC and has been away from home for 8 years but he doesn't have a family and I always worry he'll be alone at holidays. I guess the Mom in us never goes away.

But I will try to muddle through this holiday because I have 2 other kids that will be depending on me and my Mom and sisters to spend the day with.  We'll all have some sadness and wish missing members of the fa,ily were with us but we'll be together and I can be thankful I still have them to share the memories with.