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milly17 
7:52pm, October 12, 2009
Hey guys. I know a lot of you are so relieved to hear that our resident beastie is ok and we have all been so worried about her as she is our sunshine and we rove her rong time. I thought i would just put my feelings down in a journal as i have not written one for some time now.
I am praying for her to return to us much improved and these prayers take place every night when i ask god to watch over our good friend and fill her heart with happiness again so that she can talk with us and get back to her old self. I hope hes listening because she has been through so much heartache and this kind lady deserves the very best in life and i pray she gets it really soon. We love you and miss you mate, so very muchxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Comments
I know its a while since i wrote a journal, but to be honest, before the last few days my life has been ticking along nicely. Then out of the blue i get an attack of anxiety followed by so much damn anger inside i just dont know how to cope anymore.
Last night for example my daughter decides to tell me at the last minute that she has homework for today. Instead of just calmly saying ' youd better get on and do it then' like i normally would, i found myself getting in a real panic about it which led to me crying and shaking and bashing my wrist down on the table several times and now its bruised and really painful. FFS what is wrong with me. Charlotte was so upset and its all my fault. That poor kid has been through enough over the years with an alchoholic bloody father that has vertually no contact with her without me shouting at her. Shes a good kid and has always made me proud so ive got to sort this out for her sake as well as my own sanity.
Im hoping by writing all this down it will help a bit.
Thanks for listening and a few prayers wouldnt go amiss. Cheers guysx
Comments
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You are a lovely person that loves her daughter enough to be concerned about her homework getting done on time. She will do her best with out you helping her if needs be so please relax and turn that frown upside down.
I wanna see a smile
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Aw, hugs-Debbie---Charlotte will understand if you sit her down and talk with her!
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anxiety does that. dont beat up on yourself. your a cool person
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you will be ok just need to learn how to handle the stress or the shock better then what you are doing you need to learn how to handle the stresses of life as the occur.but you will be ok and just tell your little one how much you love her and let her know what is going on when she knows she will understand trust me on this
Heya loveys. Thought it was about time i did the journal thing.
Firstly i am feeling great as my daughter is on summer hols and i love her being at home as we get to spend some quality time together.
Next, im off to Skegness Butlins for a few days with my family so im really looking forward to that too.
I will really miss all my lovely ds friends though so very much and i wish each and every one of you a peaceful and happy summer.
Love you guys like my own family and will talk as soon as we get back, (sob)x
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Have a wonderful week, Dears and take care of yourselves
hugs
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Thank you big sis. Now i know why i dont write journals very often, nobody has any time to read em. x
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Have a great milly! I will miss you hunnie.
Be safe. Love, Jazzie xx
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Awe thanks Jazz, will miss you both. xxxx
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have a great time & will miss u, LU xx
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ooooh so much love! :D xxxx
keep writing these journals. even thought it's nice to get some support and second opinions, it doesn't matter if they're not read! you write them for yourself. journals help you see how you've been over time, too see things clearly, and to vent out rather than bottling everything up inside and harming yourself.
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Sure glad to hear from you again. I hope all is going well with you all across the ocean
KCJ
Praying with you hon, love yah Lexi
LexiNicole