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jenny81 
my cramps are killing me today. im just so tired of feeling this way. every morning i wake up and its the same bullshit. i just wish i could have one day where i didnt feel this way. it litterally took everything i had just to get out of bed this morning. 26 years old and i feel like im 90. its just bullshit and im over it. we can send freakin people to the moon yet we can make cramps go away. give me a break.
well its tuesday... two more days to go and its round three for surgery. i always find myself getting super nervous before these things even though i know its the right choice for me. this has been such a difficult road and the pain sometimes is too much to handle. i wish i could just take my mind off of it and pretend it doesnt exist but it does. i spend so much of my life trying to smile and act like im ok so i dont have to deal with everyone else and what they have to say about it. the pain has been pretty bad off and on but at least its not all the time. i hope this lap brings some more relief and i pray that i do start feeling better.
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well here it goes... its been some time now since i last wrote. i feel like ive been through so much. my endometriosis is getting worse. i feel horrible all the time and never want to do anything. im constantly sad and in pain and i just feel like non of my friends understand. i have managed to screw myself money wise again and im so dissapointed in myself. im just plain over feeling this way. work drains me, by the time i get home im so beat i just want to lay on the couch and rest. i had an appointment with a new doctor and she is really nice but it was so depressing. i have to get back on birth control and i have no idea which route to take. im not putting a damn implant or shot into my body and the pill and believe me ive taken just about all of them make me feel so damn sick all the time. the last pill they had me on pretty much made me feel like my body was shutting down on me and i had to go see my GP becuase i was so sick and missing work. but of course the doctor says i have to "deal" with the side effects and choose a birth control. if i knew which one was the best for me dont you think i would be on it. shouldnt that be the doctor's job to help assess the situation and guide you in choosing meds. its just so frustrating!!
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hey jenny-I'm sorry you are having a hart time, I know how you feel. I agree with you, doctors should be there to help us but it definitely just seems like they lose patience or have a "suck it up" attitude. I too get very sick from birth control pills, but was told once my lupron treatment ended (about a week ago, which, by the way was complete hell) I would need to be on constant birth control. Well, my doctor started me on the nuva ring. I was skeptical at first-I mean, its a bit scary, having this ring inside you and just knowing its there but I have to tell you..so far it's been great!! honestly. I have been on every pill you can imagine and each one makes me so nausceous and dizzy but this ring-I haven't even felt a thing!! my doctor said its the lowest dose of estrogen you can get. Maybe you should try it! I know it's hard..I've stopped talking to my friends about it because no one understands. But email me anytime, you can vent to me anytime, I know how you feel. Hang in there. Best wishes to you!
Past Entries
Hope you feel better after your surgery. I too have been very nervous before any surgeries I have had. I will be thinking about you and pray you feel better. It helps me to think that before I know it they will be waking me up and surgery will be over
Sistersusie
I am thinking of you and praying for you through your surgery. Try to think positive thoughts-imagine yourself waking up and feeling relieved from the pain. I know the pain is absolutely excrutiating and we are all heroes for dealing with this every day. I truly hope you find some relief from your pain. Best wishes to you
Lexi85