jenny81’s Profile

Open Bipolar Disorder

my parents used to just tell me i was moody. i spent alot of my earlier years so miserable with myself, i turned to using to try to make the pain go away. i always felt like i was on some emotional rollercoaster. one minute im happy the next im either biting someones head off or crying about something. the doctor had me on so many med's i didnt know if i was coming or going half the time. ive been off med's since i was diagnosed with epilepsy but still have my moments

Treatments

Depakote Somewhat Helpful

on depakote ER for epilepsy.

Lexapro Not Working

Zoloft Not Working

made me feel like i was a zombie

Zyprexa Not Working

i gained 15 lbs in almost a week, could never get full, roomate would find me in the fridge at 2am crying cuz i couldnt get full

Open Anxiety

i always had trouble sleeping. i used to think it was just insomnia until i talked to my doctor. its never been " i just cant sleep" instead i lay in bed worrying about everything and replaying the day over in my head. i stress over things i cannot change and the things i wish i could. im always getting stressed out to the point where i feel i have no control.

Treatments

Ativan Somewhat Helpful

kinda helped but i found i was getting too used to it and the doctor had to keep upping my dose or it wouldnt work

Klonopin Working / Worked

very helpful, dont feel dependent on it, helps with my restless leg syndrome as well and the sleep

Lexapro Not Working

Paxil Not Working

had to stop taking, gave me wicked stomach pains

Open Eating Disorders

ive always had an issue seeing myself as others have seen me. its like i look through this distorted mirror and that's just how it is. ive always hated the way i looked and had issues with eating disorders during my junior and high school years. ive recently been diagnosed with epilepsy and have gained 30lbs. for a girl that has been 95lbs her entire life this was quite a change. all i hear is how much better everyone thinks i look but i still see this person who just looks wrong

Open Financial Challenges

i seem to always be barely getting by. i spend money i dont have, champagne taste on a beer budget. i live paycheck to paycheck and it is so hard. i pay all my bills on time and never have anything left for myself.being broke all the time sucks. i have a ton of health problems and medical bills are killing me. im just tired of always being behind

Open Restless Legs Syndrome

i dont exactly remember when it started but its been going on for sometime. it feels like someone is squeezing my knees and it shoots down into my ankles. at first my mom thought i was faking it (she thought i came up with restless leg on my own)until she talked to girls at her work that had it. it sucks being kept awake at night cuz your legs hurt so bad. i would give anything to make it stop

Treatments

Clonazepam Working / Worked

so far so good. doctor figured since this works for anxiety i could kill 2 birds with 1 stone instead of taking 2 differnt meds for legs and anxiety.

Sinemet Working / Worked

didnt work

Open Cocaine Addiction & Recovery

from the time i was a teenager i just wanted to make things seem easier. instead of dealing with things head on, getting high was my escape. coke was the only thing i couldnt control. i was surrounded by people who did it but i soon realized alot of them werent as bad as me. i almost died a few times and it still never stopped me. it will be one year clean in may and im hoping to hang on and keep it that way

Open Bereavement
Type: Loss of a Friend

my friend commited suicide sunday. its not like this is the first time i have lost a friend be it to drugs, accident, health problems or by their own hand but it doesnt make it any easier. on top of this i have to deal with a mother who has no compassion for anyone or anything and it just makes grieving worse.

Treatments

Crying Working / Worked

sometimes you just cant help it, i try to not cry in front of people but you can only hold things in so long.

Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked

i am thankful to have such amazing friends who are here for me, my ups and my downs. it makes going through the hard times a little bit easier